YOU CAN’T ALWAYS GET WHAT YOU WANT

Well, that backfired spectacularly, didn’t it? I’m talking, of course, about Astana’s greets and moans over Leigh Griffiths. With the Daily Record cheering from the sidelines, the Kazakh team had complained to UEFA about Griffiths’s ‘punch’ and called for more vigilance from the referee. Any UEFA bod watching a video of the first leg, however, would have noted how much the referee let the Astana players away with and briefed the officials for the match at Celtic Park accordingly. Those two penalties wouldn’t have been given in the first leg and I can’t help wondering if, stonewall though both were, they’d have been given in the second leg if it hadn’t been for the Astana calls for more vigilance. Unfortunately for them, I don’t think they intended for that vigilance to extend to their own behaviour. No wonder those two players stood, dumfounded, on an empty pitch once the game was over!

Meanwhile, the building-up of Neo-Gers in the media has resulted in a completely different conclusion being drawn from that game against Burnley. The knee-jerk reaction from The Peeppul was that their team was shite and Warbs would have to do something to improve it. One character on the Record Hotline suggested they ‘go for’ Peter Crouch. They still don’t get it. Neo-Gers can’t ‘go for’ anybody; Warbs needs to keep rummaging in that box of Action Man’s Heids.

After reading in the press about how their team is going to win the league this coming season, and the Champions League in 2017-2018, the significance of the friendly has changed. Since Neo-Gers are so great, the argument now is that Burnley are going to walk the English Premiership. Their delusion knows no bounds. Then again, you can hardly blame them when you see all the shite in our media.

The Daily Record had a story yesterday about a teenager, whose birthday party at a local pub was cancelled by the pub manager when he got a better offer from someone else. Understandably, the girl and her family were outraged and the pub manager has been painted, quite rightly, as the villain of the piece. If the girl and her family had taken the guy to court, he wouldn’t have had a leg to stand on; he had entered into a binding contract and couldn’t just cancel it because a better offer came along. Probably the family didn’t bother because of the expense that it would entail. There are other folk that have entered into contracts, however, who can well afford to drag anybody through the courts for as long as it takes. You’ll know exactly to whom I am referring.

While the Record berates the pub manager for breaking a contract, when it comes to others, the paper seems perfectly happy to take the law-breaker’s side. No matter how it’s spun, the fact remains that Neo-Gers has a legally-binding contract with Sports Direct and Puma. It doesn’t matter which particular individuals signed this contract; it was with the company, which, if you listen to the usual apologists for Neo-Gers, is the be-all and end-all. Just because they’re not happy with the contract, that doesn’t mean that they can just tear it up and go elsewhere. The only type of person that would try such a thing would be a recidivist criminal with nothing much to lose. And Honest Dave, of course, does have nothing to lose. He hasn’t put a penny into the club/company and could easily walk away unaffected.

I think there’s a secret plan going on here. The events of 2012 have set a precedent, which it looks as if King and his coterie are going to follow-follow. What better way than liquidation to get the new club out of those burdensome contracts? Of course, all the debts and onerous contracts would be bundled up into an invented new company, which would then be liquidated, while the assets could be snapped up for a song by a ‘preferred’ purchaser. This delightfully simple way of shedding debts and contracts happens to be illegal; but Duff & Phelps and Chateau Charlie did it four years ago and got away with it. The only thing is that The Peeppul now hate anyone that was involved in the whole rotten deal. King won’t want to go down that route; without cash, the unquestioning support of The Peeppul is all he’s got. What he needs is a scapegoat. Presenting – Mike Ashley!

The ridiculous carry-on with the new strips makes more sense in this scenario. McMurdo and his disciples have long believed that King’s endgame is selling Ibrox to developers and moving the club to new, cheaper premises. There’s a fortune to be made for those bold enough to join in; no wonder folk are handing over loans to keep the club going. First, though, anyone else with a claim needs to be got rid of. So, step one: liquidation, which can be blamed on Mike Ashley, Sports Direct and Puma. The big problem, however, is going to be that two huge companies like SD and Puma won’t be happy with masonic judges in Scottish courts; they’ll take it through every court in the whole UK and beyond, if possible. It’s certainly going to be fun spectating!

Speaking of King and his hole-in-the-pocket gang, the Evening Times the other night printed its most vomit-inducing article yet: an encomium to, of all people, Halloween Houston. (I should have filed copyright on that one!) Of course, there’s no mention of the assaults on Ibrox staff or of his good buddy, Sandy Chugg. The article makes out as if he has actually achieved something, other than helping to get a convicted criminal in charge at the top of the marble staircase. Strangely, it doesn’t touch at all on his greatest moment. You can just imagine the horror on the faces of women, who’ve had one or two too many, waking up to find Houston’s visage on the pillow next to them. That was why last year, at a glittering ceremony in Las Vegas, Houston was given a Lifetime Achievement Award by the company that manufactures the morning-after pill.

Our old friend the Derry Dinosaur Jockey, Smegory Campbell, is up to his tricks again. He’s apparently gathering evidence to blame Hibs supporters for the violence after the Scottish Cup Final. Since anyone with eyes could see that The Peeppul were, in fact, responsible for the fighting, he’s on a hiding to nothing with this one. His renowned hanger-on, John Stevens, is, of course, fully involved, asking for any videos to be sent to him, rather than Campbell. Stevens seems to have abandoned his ‘State Aid’ obsession to concentrate on this new conspiracy, where, as usual, everybody’s ‘bad tae Raynjurz’. He’s bemoaning the fact that the ‘independent enquiry’ hasn’t published its findings yet. Sometimes, just like Astana FC, it’s better to just keep one’s mouth shut. It’s pretty obvious why the report hasn’t been made public; they’re too scared of upsetting The Peeppul.

No doubt there’ll be folk doctoring videos as we speak, like that one of Neil Lennon, supposedly spitting on a Rangers scarf that he’s nowhere near. Apparently, PZJ stands for Pharez, Zarah, Judah, which is Hebrew for ‘stull styes wi’ ays mammy’. Expect this latest endeavour to be as successful as the loser’s other obsessive pursuits.

In politics, Torky the Twat is his usual, smarmy self as he sticks up for the BBC as the ‘glue’ that binds the United Kingdom. He paints the SNP calls for a ‘real’ BBC Scotland and a Scottish Six O’clock News as something sinister, as a pathetic, self-interested attack on a great, disinterested institution. Unfortunately for his agenda, the Scots aren’t the only ones sick to death with BBC bias. There are plenty of Labour supporters in England that would like to see sweeping changes in the supposedly-unbiased broadcaster. Crichton claims to be a Labour supporter but, like the paper he works for, he’s no doubt on the side of the Blairites. The main reason why he’s a cheerleader for the current BBC Scotland, however, is more easily explained; they gave him his first big break, back when they were employing anybody that spoke Gaelic.

Finally, a welcome back to Neo-Gers fan WillieWontHe, who has entered into the spirit of things by adopting the new username of Neo-WWH. That, however, begs the questions of whether he has exited liquidation and whether I should be welcoming him back, or welcoming him for the first time. Talk about confusing things!

 

Kenny-Miller

“Of course wur gonny win the league this year; Scott Brown’s talkin’ shite. Hiv ye no’ read the papers, ‘n ‘at? We’re unstoppable, so wae ur, especially wi’ wur new signin’s. Ah mean, Clint Hill’s aw prepared fur trippin’ up anybody that gets intae oor goal area an’ thur’ll bae nae penalties gied. An’ Joey Barton’ll either punch any cunt that comes near um, or stub a cigar oot in thur eye.  Who’s gonny bae able tae compete against that, eh? Noo, if ye’ll excuse me, Ah’m lookin’ a bit peely-wally an’ Ah’ve heard B & M’s goat a special offer oan creosote.”

P.S. A quote from Kenny Miller in the DR deserves a reply. He said, “Being honest, would any Rangers team come up and – no matter what situation Celtic are in – say they are going to be happy to finish second?” No, Kenny, a Rangers team would simply be happy to still be alive!

5 thoughts on “YOU CAN’T ALWAYS GET WHAT YOU WANT

  1. A tribute to Jackson, English et al who want us to ‘move on’:

    The Importance Of Knowing Fuck-All

    I sold my soul out to level five
    ‘Cos the truth it pains me.
    I asked fat Jabba for some more lies.
    He said:”That’s why they pay me.”
    I went on twitter to put them right.
    They said:”Man, you’re crazy.
    That ain’t what you said at the time.
    Is your memory hazy?”

    But I don’t mind.
    As long as there’s a paper that will print my shite,
    I’ll be fine.
    But give me a minute.
    A man’s got a limit.
    I can’t tell the truth if my heart’s not in it.

    I’ve put my faith in the Old Firm hype,
    So I won’t stop lying.
    I’ll argue daily that black is white
    About Rangers dying.
    I begged fat Jabba for one  more line.
    He said:”Son, words fail me!”
    “Why don’t you think for yourself sometimes?”
    I guess I’m just lazy.

    But I don’t mind.
    As long as there are morons who will read my tripe,
    I’ll get by.
    But give me a minute.
    To pander to bigots.
    You can’t sell the paper if the truth is in it.

    Like

  2. Pat, thanks for the welcome back and we will need to resurrect our wee debate once again, until then keep the anti Neo Ranjurs banter flowing as I am entertained lol.

    Like

  3. A lot of posts in the last few days, Willie – are you ‘going for 55’? Good to see a bluenose who is thick-skinned enough to see the humour behind Pat’s vitriol which is really aimed at the media and the bigoted element at Ibrox.

    Like

  4. Cheers Mattie and to answer your question I believe the only 55 I will ever get is age or waistline hahaha, yes I have found oor Pat oot lol I get him and get it 😉

    Like

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