PLANNING DEPARTMENTS

Everybody remembers that bit in Braveheart where all the Scots bend over and lift their kilts to show the English their bare arses. That’s what the weekend there was all about; a big GIRFUY to Celtic and anybody else that thinks favouritism, bias and downright cheating need to be expunged from our game. It was a demonstration, saying, “Fuck you, fuck your Resolution 12 and we’re going to do what we fucking well like!” It was also a demonstration to The People, telling them not to worry because the SFA have their back.

“Wur gonny shite aw ower yez!”

It all comes down to Celtic having the absolute gall to question Cheatin’ Beaton’s decision making. All they did was request some answers; well, they’ve certainly got their answers now. Meanwhile, it’s going to be open season on Celtic players, who can be kicked up and down the pitch with impunity. That so-called tackle on Edouard was shocking and it’s unbelievable that it didn’t result in a penalty and a red card. Then again, it’s entirely believable. Collum is obviously desperate  to get back in the Huns’ good books and the guy running the line was the Moray Lavvy Opener.

Of course, we won’t hear about any of this in our media. They are in thrall to The Peeppul as much as the SFA is. Most of those in the media are Huns themselves, as are those in the corridors of power at Hampden. There are a couple of voices in the wilderness, like Chris Sutton, but they are drowned out by all the others, including folk that used to play for Celtic. There’s a famous pictorial representation of this phenomenon by Andy Warhol. It’s called ‘Ex-Celts in the Media’.

There’s a quote from Jock Stein doing the rounds, along the lines of if you’re good enough, the referee doesn’t matter. In most cases, such as Sunday’s game against St Johnstone, this adage holds true, since the officials can’t make it too blatant. But anyone that thinks a referee is incapable of handing a match to a team is kidding nobody but himself. Saturday’s game at Ibrox was a prime example but some folk think all the opposition needs to do is score more goals. That, however, is not always possible.

Cast your mind back to the 2nd of May 1999, to that game at Celtic Park where Hugh Dallas stuck the heid on a pound coin. If you remember, Rangers were 2 up at half-time, the second goal coming from a penalty for an incident that only Dallas saw. During the second half, Celtic were all over the Huns but Dallas was undaunted. Every time Celtic mounted an attack and were almost through on goal, they were dragged back to take a free kick for some non-existent foul. Rangers were then able to pack the defence. The Daily Record, later in the week, analysed the match to disprove Celtic supporters’ theories about cheating. Surprise! Celtic had got far more free kicks than Rangers, which the DR said proved that he had actually favoured the Bhoys!

With the weekend’s displays, all pretence about ‘even playing-fields’ and ‘things evening themselves out’ has been abandoned. I’m willing to bet that Dallas the Hunling will take charge of the next Neo-Gers match at Celtic Park and he’ll be ‘Ready’ to follow his old man’s example.

Remember El Guffalo making a grab for Ryan Christie’s knackers? That behaviour is beginning to make sense now with the news that Vinnie Jones is getting fed up with Huns wanting him to grab their goolies, Paul Gascoigne-style, as they get their picture taken. I thought maybe this was some mad, Protestant thing but I believe El Guffalo is a Catholic. It’s obviously some kind of initiation rite for The Peeppul. Either you have to grab somebody’s baw-sack, or let somebody grab yours, to become a fully-fledged Hun.

Christ, every time I read, watch or listen to any of the mainstream media I become more convinced that the whole world is going insane. More than one commentator has suggested the Irish Republic re-joining the UK and there’s even an online petition calling for it. Are they fucking joking? It’s all those stupid Brexiteers, convinced that the British Empire is on its way back. They honestly think everyone’s going to be clamouring for ‘Bwana’ to return and rule their lives. The Irish will come crawling back first and then India, Pakistan and Bangladesh will then want the Raj back, each area getting the big house ready for the return of ‘Sahib’ and the ‘Mem-Sahib’. Fucking bonkers the lot of them!

Meanwhile, plans are in place to spirit the Auld Hausfrau, Lizzie Saxe-Coburg-Gotha, out of the country when the expected post-Brexit riots occur. Now, anybody with any modicum of sense would think that anything that’s going to lead to violence on the streets is maybe not the best course of action to pursue. The Brave Brexiteers, however, are determined. Like I said, fucking bonkers!

And now there are folk out there complaining that Mary Poppins is racist. There’s an old geezer in the film that sees the chimney sweeps prancing about on the roofs and starts shouting about ‘Hottentots attacking’. Now, that’s racist. On the other hand, Mary Poppins putting soot on her nose isn’t. It really isn’t. I know these folk mean well but when they start spouting shite like this it means that nobody’s going to listen when they have something really bad to moan about. God, if we were to listen to them we’d be accusing everybody. Weans are generally not very good at staying clean and when I was a teacher some of them would come in after playtime with dirt smeared on their cheeks. Can you imagine me pointing to the door and shouting, “Get out of my class, you racist, little cunt!”?

Finally, Der Fuhrer is just as insane as any Brexiteer. She comes back from walking the dog to tell me how she ignored the next-door neighbour because he’s one of those types that thinks he knows everything. The young woman across the street is a ‘stuck-up cow’, while our neighbour on the other side is a ‘fucking old weirdo’. Then there’s the ones that stay the other side of the green out the back; they look like junkies. In fact, she doesn’t like any of our neighbours at all. Why? Here comes the punchline. “Ah wiz talkin’ tae that wummin a couple-a streets doon wi’ the Springer Spaniel an’ wae baith agreed whit’s wrang wi’ thum aw roon’ here – thur too judgmental!”

“Awright, troops? Ah’ll fuckin’ tell yez what’s racist – theym throwin’ bananas it Mark Walters. An’ a see the SFA an’ thur offishulls hiv stull goat it in fur us. Ah mean, four penalties? Wae should’ve hud aboot seven ur eight. Cheatin’ basturts.”

Details of all my books can be found here:

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Billy’s magnum opus is here

https://www.amazon.co.uk/-/e/B07HGVKC7X

Remember, if you’re skint for any reason, just drop me an e-mail at andrsptr@outlook.com and I’ll send you Kindle copies of any of my books for free.

 

21 thoughts on “PLANNING DEPARTMENTS

  1. Posting a bit late this morning pat, have a decent sleep for a change? I look forward to seeing your posts through the night as I get about 3-4 hours kip myself. So glad I don’t read the same media outlets as you and the hun ref cheating IS at a new level it’s like they’re practicing how far they can go and get away with it, i was brought up in Lanarkshire myself with various lodges in my home town of Blantyre so despair at so many of our refs hail from there.
    a`the best pat

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  2. Nothing will change. The game is fekd beyond saving. It’s all in the open and the Refs and their fat controllers don’t care who sees it. You see the Boards of the clubs affected by this cheating don’t care as long as the money rolls in. It’s the fans fault. If you keep paying for a dud product you will continue to be ripped off.

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    1. Im not sure you can say that, a few clubs managers have piped up and mentioned what most of us feel.

      The issue is allegiance, and the referees should have to do this, Keevins on SSB dismissed this out of hand and made out that this request was more or less the equivalent of racial profiling, what the arsehole failed to mention is that part of certain jobs you need background checks DBS etc, this is no different and is just another job requirement an easy fix for the SFA. He also went onto say that these guys are professionals!, well they aren’t they are part time ffs.

      People like Keevins are quick to ask callers who they support as he says it clearly clouds their judgement on other clubs and bias, but doesn’t think it will affect referees!

      Hire in Referees from all around the world it takes away the chances of any of the issues we have today not only on the so called paranoia but also on allegiance.

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  3. Hi Pat,I’ve unsanctioned myself to show your readers that you,alongside 99.5% of Celtic FC supporters,actually gets what a raw deal we get from just about everyone who could,or can, influence the outcome of a game of football in Unfair Caledonia.In fact you used the very terminology in this very article……

    ‘But anyone that thinks a referee is incapable of handing a match to a team is kidding nobody but himself.’

    I’m sure We All get EXACTLY what you mean,but there’s a certain ‘person’ (but that could be a multiple choice answer too) that now has to decide IF indeed they/he agrees with your statement,that,coincidentally,also happens to be the opinion of most ‘right thinking CFC🍀 fans’

    I wonder why you used the word ‘himself’ rather than ‘themselves’ at the end of the sentence,a Freudian slip maybe,but I’m sure HE knows exactly what We All mean and just how wrong his opinion truly is.

    Thanks Pat your work is prolific atm and I’m loving being a very part time comment poster.HH
    FU,RF,PLP,RW,etc etc….🤣😂FUD

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    1. Good to see you back AT, lurkings no fun is it.

      We dont all have to believe conspiracy theories and i think the allegiance issue will resolve a lot, incompetence wont ever be resolved with the SFA currently bringing in full time refs from around the world will make a huge difference in my opinion, it wont cancel all errors but itll go a long way to improving the game, itll certainly end this nonsense currently.

      What happens if a few of the refs tick the Celtic box and they arent all huns as many suspect?

      My opinion will only be wrong if fact is presented to counter it, its not my problem you cant handle that i dont sing the same tune as you.

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      1. Your opinion,and folks with your opinion,,IF they exist,do not even make up 1% of the CFC🍀 support.
        Re. your reply,the following doesn’t even read properly,poor grammar and choice of words,but hey! no ones perfect,so here goes… ‘itll certainly end this nonsense currently’ As you put it.!! THIS has been GOING ON FOR DECADES,if not longer;so it’s anything but ‘current.’

        In my opinion,and many other CFC🍀 fans,it has been going on since the inception of sfa and was further exposed at the weekend by the award of FOUR penalties,unheard of in these modern footballing times,but par for the course @iboaks with compliant ‘officials’

        Now,are you going to tell me that those FOUR PENALTIES were the result of poor officiating and just general bad refereeing?

        I’ve refrained from abuse in these posts as I now believe you’re probably a ‘currant’ with a brain cell and I never abuse those less fortunate,no matter how deluded or mentally unstable.For,if you truly are a Celtic fan you’re thee oddest one I’ve ever had the misfortune to communicate with.

        And if you call FOUR penalties a conspiracy theory well what more PROOF(aka fact) do you need?

        Also,I’ve got no problem,not even with you,I believe it’s you that has the problem,with your extremely skewed views.

        Reply if you like,it will NOT be read.TWTSRU.COM

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        1. Dear me, its been a pleasure for me AT and illuminating as you simply back up what I’ve said, you don’t like the alternative opinion wont even entertain it and are barely holding yourself back from abuse although you are doing it already.

          It could be both but I’m dubious until its proven, but everyone jumps to the conspiracy from the get go, Andrew Dallas is clearly out of his depth, but his linesman gave one of the decisions, the decisions are hard to explain but this happens every week, for every team.

          When i say about my opinion being wrong if proven wrong with fact by you, that applies to me and what I think of what you say, however I’m not dismissing all you say out of hand, I’m questioning it, like with most of these things, conspiracy theories take away a lot of energy and time on dealing with the real issues and only serve as a distraction. The SFA, the media, you and a few others are doing nothing to resolve the issues, there is no serious talk of real change in the game, you just point and shout Hun! it’ll never change if that mindset doesn’t change.

          I’ve suggested what i think will make a positive change as it stops the the talk we ‘Currently’ have.

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          1. BS,deflection and general shite.It isn’t your opinion you need help with,its that delusional belief of you always knowing better.
            Four penalties are FACTS,no action on el gruffalo for multiple offences on the 29th December FACT.
            Etc etc…..

            I do not wish to ever communicate with you again,so please do me the courtesy of disregarding my comments,ie(that is),PLEASE just ignore them,as I do and always will yours.)
            That way,both you and I can still comment and interact with others.
            I’ve asked politely and I hope you can do us both that courtesy,
            I promise you I will never go back on my word.
            Not even if you belief the Earth is flat.
            I will NEVER pass comment on ANYTHING YOU POST.
            MAKE THE PLEDGE,I AM A MAN OF MY WORD.
            It has been shown that you and I cannot see eye to eye,so,for the good of the group MAKE THE PLEDGE.DO IT HERE AND THERES NO GOING BACK FROM YOUR WORD.
            Please do not take this the wrong way but that includes ALL ALIASES PAST,PRESENT AND FUTURE.RF.PLPP,RW. that’s only the ones We All know of.
            Be a man and make your pledge,I swear on my sons life that it will be My pleasure to ignore you until I’m dust,
            Man up,make the pledge.
            Your move.
            I don’t see another way around this,in fact,I only wish I’d thought of it sooner.
            You’ve driven away enough readers to other sites never to return,so please make the promise.I WILL GLADLY LIVE UP TO MINE.
            NO MORE COMMENTS FROM ME TO ANY AND ALL PERSONS EMANATING FROM THE PERSON I THINK I KNOW AS ROBERT FITZPATRICK.NONE.EVER.GUARANTEED.
            Well…..

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            1. I can tell you one thing your head is flat!

              No, i cant say like you with certainty that certain things are fact so please give it a rest, its an opinion a different point of view., Dalls did give four penalties, but its not fact hes a hun, hes useless is more accurate.

              AT im up next Thursday for the game you fancy a pint?

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          1. Bloody hell things are serious when my wee pal Monti is wearing a blue beret and trying to keep the peace . I just cant picture a terrorist loving , dole cheating scumbag in the Kofi Annan role but here we are . If you dont like another blogger ignore the bugger . SIMPLES .

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  4. Looks like Ross Thomson may be the next to sign for Sevco once his short career as an MP comes to an end . The Tory MP known to his friends as SNP gain was removed from one of the bars in Westmonster for feeling the goolies and trying to stick his hands down the trousers of young men so he would be an ideal replacement for Morelos when he leaves for suazillions of pounds . I take in Brexit will now be put on hold until this is sorted out as the Tories called for Indy Ref 2 to be cancelled over the accusations about Alex Salmond . If I tried a similar stunt here I would get lifted by the boys in blue for sexual assault after I had my head kicked in by those I was trying to grope . The goolie grabbers friends say it was the stress of Brexit that made him do it which is right up there with a big boy in a Rangers strip did it and ran away as lame excuses go .
    Liam Neeson is in the news for saying he wandered the streets hoping to get assaulted by a black man so he could kill him in revenge for the rape of a friend . Apparantly this is OK behaviour according to Phil as it happened years ago and John Barnes says Liam should get a medal for it . I suppose because Liam is from the old country or in Phil’s case the new country it is OK to wander the streets with a cosh looking for a black person to kill . Thank god Liam did not say artificial Irishman as that is rampant racism according to our Phil while behaving like a member of the KKK is fine . Talk about double standards .

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    1. He needs to get a better solicitor if thats the excuse used, that’ll be a bad excuse in court!

      Stress can give you alopecia but doesn’t make you grab peoples cocks!

      Like

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