GAME OF MOANS

Well, that dearly-held opinion didn’t take long to be abandoned, did it? It’s only been a matter of days since Neo-Gers and The Peeppul were telling us how the referee’s decision should be final and shouldn’t be questioned by compliance officers or anybody else. Although Neo-Gers haven’t released one of their famous statements, The Peeppul want something done (again) about Willie Collum. What’s the point in their handing over £6,000 only for the bastard to be in charge of their last game of the season? One or two of them have been pointing out that it was, for them at any rate, a meaningless game and no helicopters were hurt, but they wanted to set down a marker. Didn’t Auld Sperm Heid say that next season had already started?

The main complaint seems to be that ‘Raynjurz’ games shouldn’t be refereed by somebody that teaches in a Kafflick school. He teaches RE there, so he’s obviously wan-y theym. It stands to reason that he’s going to be prejudiced against a ‘Proddissint’ club. Meanwhile, there’s nothing wrong, apparently, with their games being officiated by Masons, Orangemen and assorted ex-Ibrox season-ticket-holders. It seems they just want referees that are biased in their favour, which, of course, most of them are. Point this out, however, and you’re a bigot, a ‘Raynjurz-Hatur’ and anti-Proddissint.

“Ah fuckin’ hate bigots!”

Ryan Jack was in the DR saying how it’s ‘mentality’ that wins games. Well, that sounds fucking mental for a start. He goes on, “You can’t just turn up and think because you’re Rangers you’re going to win the game.” Well, they’re not Rangers, so he’s on a hiding to nothing there. He continues about needing focus and being switched on and all the other ‘mentality’ clichés he can think of. The problem with all that is that if your team is full of shite players, then all the ‘mentality’ in the world won’t help you.

The mentality needed to succeed at Neo-Gers.

Speaking of shite, the El Guffalo saga seems to be causing confusion among some observers. Steven Gerrard broke ranks and said that the only offer received for Morelos during his (Gerrard’s) time at Neo-Gers was for €3m. Everybody, including Our Phil, is contrasting this with the phantom bids from China. The problem there is that those ‘bids’ happened before Gerrard arrived. What they should be looking at is Morelos himself telling the Sun that there are a lot of clubs interested in him. Either somebody’s lying to him or they aren’t interested enough to pay over the odds. Everybody knows that the thug’s going nowhere.

Sperm Heid’s already let the cat out of the bag in that respect with his ‘plea’ for El Guffalo to stay. According to the tadpole-heided one, Morelos would benefit from another year at Neo-Gers and would contribute greatly to the title that The Peeppul all know is coming their way next season. You can see how that one’s going to be spun in the media come August; Neo-Gers had loads of offers, all eight-figure sums, but El Guffalo ‘chose’ to stay at Ibrox. They’re nothing if not predictable.

Despite bids of over £30m from Barcelona and PSG, Alfredo decided to stay at his beloved Neo-Gers.

According to the Daily Record, Stevie Clarke has ‘won the race’ to be Scotland manager. If ever there was a one-horse race, this was it. Who the hell in their right mind would take that particular poison chalice? The papers are already full of recommendations about who should be in the team and the daft cunt is going to get blamed for playing this one, or not playing that one. If that had been me, I’d have stayed at Kilmarnock and told them to stick their Scotland job. It’s not as if it’s a long-term post anyway; a couple of losses and he’ll be out the door.

What about that last episode of Game of Thrones? I’m not going to go overboard like all those sad bastards, but it was definitely an unsatisfying anti-climax. I mean, you spend all those years getting emotionally invested in characters and then… I won’t spoil it if you haven’t seen it yet, but it was like an exciting, close-run football season. Imagine if Celtic, Neo-Gers, Aberdeen, Hibs, Hearts and Kilmarnock were all separated by only a few points, the top spot in the league had been constantly changing and everybody was looking forward to the run-in to the finish. Then, suddenly, May comes and all those teams have multiple administration events and are docked dozens of points so that Hamilton end up being Champions. That’s exactly what that last episode of Game of Thrones felt like.

“Ah’ll fuckin’ ‘Hamilton’ ye!”

I also watched the first episode of a six-part adaptation of one of my favourite books, Catch-22. They’ve obviously spent a bit of cash and have George Clooney in it. I wondered if it would be better than the 1970 film adaptation; it certainly couldn’t be any worse. They’ve fucked things up, though, with Major Major being ‘one of the lads’ instead of the distant figure he was in the book, while Clooney plays a character that wasn’t even in the book. I switched it off halfway through. Maybe it might be okay if you haven’t read the book. I doubt it, though.

On the Diabetes front, I’ve to see the nurse on the 29th, so I’m in limbo at present. I’ve stopped looking on the internet, since there’s all manner of conflicting information: don’t eat cheese, eat plenty of cheese, don’t eat this, eat that and even folk advising you to starve. In the meantime, I’m fucking scared to eat anything. Even looking at a biscuit makes me feel as if I’m going to go into a diabetic coma or the Diabetes Polis are going to kick the door in. Christ, I’m beginning to wish I hadn’t gone for the test at all. Ignorance is bliss and I’d be happily munching away at my favourite things just now. Der Fuhrer, meanwhile, is determined to get me eating fruit and vegetables. I don’t know if I’ll live any longer, but it’ll certainly fucking feel like it!

“Awright, troops? Ah cannae wait tae next season. They fuckin’ Taigs wullnae know what’s hut thum. Big Jurmayne is styin’ an’ Ah’m gled tae see thit Gary McAllister is daein’ ays best tae make Alfredo stye an’ aw. An’ wae’ve goat Jake Hastie an’…an’…other wans an’ aw. An’ Ah’m sure Mr. King’ll make funds available so wae kin sign Ryan Kent. It’s gonny bae some team. 55 is oan its wye; Ah kin feel it in ma stanes. An’ that’s sumhin’ Ah’ve never said before!”

Details of all my books can be found here:

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Pat-Anderson/e/B075GL84WM/ref=dp_byline_cont_pop_ebooks_1

Billy’s magnum opus is here

https://www.amazon.co.uk/-/e/B07HGVKC7X

Remember, if you’re skint for any reason, just drop me an e-mail at andrsptr@outlook.com and I’ll send you Kindle copies of any of my books for free.

 

27 thoughts on “GAME OF MOANS

  1. Great stuff Pat, has anybody else noticed the amount of negative press Celtic are getting. I know it’s always been par for the course. However, it seems to me that there is an even higher level of pish directed at us. Is shows the fear they have of 9 then 10 getting closer. It’s going to get worse.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Was it a bit of a damp squid? Im so glad I’ve never seen an episode of game of thrones.

    How long until Steve Clarkes starts getting accused of not picking any Rangers players for Scotland?

    The bigger problem with those bids was they were verbal offers that had been seen! the 3m wasn’t a verbal offer you see, it was just a written, real one!

    Pat i have an excellent vegan recipe cook book if you’d like it?! I wont try scare you with this, I had a colleague many years back who never managed his diabetes properly and he’d be talking to you normally and it would be like seeing batteries drain in a toy, and his speech would drop off almost like a drunk, you’d need to force him to drink lucozade , i cant remember what type he had but that was never nice to see, i also think that was more to do with not eating often enough.

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    1. From your description that sounds like Type 1 which thankfully Pat has not got. Type 2 can be managed, with support from GP/Specialist Nurse, usually with a combination of watching what you eat and medication. I’ve managed well for nearly 10 years now and really the only changes I’ve made is to not over indulge and to cut down on sugary things.
      It seems that when certain ages are reached illness become more prevalent, you have to not give in too easily to these difficulties.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. As always Pat a lovely start to the morning. Luckily diabetes is manageable. You’ll get there.
    I’ve loved GOT, groundbreaking tv. Not seen last episode yet, but seen the spoilers. People forget that they aren’t directors and it’s just fiction for fun. It’s like all these fans telling the Board who they want as manager, me included. A waste of gasses.
    It makes for an interesting (scary?} season ahead as we get to the qualifiers with no decision, no new signings, fans going mental or should that be mentaller? The Celtic way.

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    1. Yeah, but we’re still “World Class in everything that we do”.

      Typical Celtic Tory Board, never makes a proactive decision. Strings us along till the last minute and sees how the dust lies.” Well we would have liked to have done this”, But,” There wasn’t time, nobody else was interested, we were outpriced by the money available in the Albanian Premier League (Courtesy of Sky) and we really needed to put a deposit down on the Hotel project”.

      It’s our own fault, we let them away with it year after year after year.

      Monti for CEO?

      H.H.

      JimboH.

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      1. Can you imagine? Board meetings cant consist of a two word diatribe!

        In terms of building an Organisation Celtic are proactive i don’t think you can argue that, personnel wise its been hit and miss, our last manager was a proactive move, dont you think?

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        1. Reactive. Pure reflex to the Gloating antics of the Ipox hierarchy in the “Good Seats” at Hampdump semi-final. Pl & Co took it personal.

          If that result hadn’t happened The Board would have carried on as per nom and Ronnie would have seen out his contract..

          Pl sees his remit as to build on & strengthen the PLC. Enhance the share price and the prestige of the club in a fiscal sense.

          The fans/supporters see the board as the custodians of the Club and it’s traditions and that their function is to facilitate the wellbeing of the Team and maintain the Framework for the Teams continued success on the field of play.

          The Board sees the Team as a product to be sold to sponsors / broadcasters to enhance the Financial stature of the PLC.

          FC v PLC as MONTI would say.

          H.H.

          JimboH.

          JimboH

          Liked by 2 people

          1. You could be right about Ronny, but I always believed he was going to go prior to that defeat, some of the performances were woeful at times and there seemed to be that all to familiar pattern when you know a manager will eventually get the boot that defeat all but confirmed what i felt.

            In my opinion the board are right, and they are delivering on that, that and they owe you or i nothing but a seat, its good that collectively our fan base are ambitious and want to strive to always be better, but I don’t see where the club is failing on that overall, there can only be improvements in retaining players and the organisation of getting replacements in, but again most of that is not in the clubs control.

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  4. Pat when your lying in your box ,everybody will be saying look at him he looks great now ,, best looking stiff that ever has been ,get well and don’t let anything get you down double chins up.

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  5. Call yersel’ Scottish, Anderson? Since when does a true Scotsman eat fruit an’ veg? Get wired intae the burgers, mars bars an’ ginger like the rest o’ us, ya big feartie.🍻🍫🍔🍩🍟😁

    Liked by 3 people

  6. Good morning to you all . I will be off down the polling station shortly as for my sins I am an observer so I am supposed to be there before the boxes have the seals put on them to make sure Nigel Farage or Ruth the mooth Davidson have not already stuffed the box with votes . Not much point in Nigel coming out here as we wouldn’t waste a milkshake on him but he may end up as creel bait but not sure about SEPA letting us put the slimy piece of shit in the sea . Sorry to here about the diabetes Pat but beware of going down the Vogon route as apart from the danger of farting yourself to death you may also become a lesbian . I can send you some free organic , low food miles , low fat , wild venison if it would help . If you have a vote and want to remain in Europe please get out and vote and to avoid overcrowding at the polling stations Pro Brexit voters are being asked to wait until Friday morning . Oh by the way the rumours that I am in for the Celtic managers job are not true I was only giving Dermot some advice on money matters during our round of golf .

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  7. David Moyes is the new Celtic manager according to our forensic friend JJ so that is that . Our hero is lurking behind his paywall but popped out to spread the good news . Phil on the other hand should bugger off down the word mines as he clatters out another reheated blog for the faithful . The fossils at SFM are happy as they can scour the SFA rule book and argue about whether the 2 match ban will apply to the new Scotland manager or will the rules be fudged again . If that sort of thing floats your boat it is time to go to Switzerland and get a room from those chaps that help people who have lost the will to live to shuffle off this mortal coil . Just a cup final to go and that will be the season over thank god as it has been hard going . Given a choice I would rather be at Celtic Park to watch the rugby than at the national stadium but will be at neither though if Warriors and Celtic can do a double it will be a good day .

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  8. Well Ah see weave goat rid o’ that traytur Teresa May. Takin’ wur Orange band tae London fur the Brexit rally was worth it efter aw – ne’er cast yer flute till May is oot!😁

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  9. I see JJ is out having a pop at fellow blog writers, you’re not worth the read according to him Pat, only Paul Brennan and Joe McHugh are worthy of a read so fuck knows why I’m here, commenting yet again! Anyway, the almighty one seems to think we are getting Moyes, the bookies seem to think so as well, but when have they been wrong!

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  10. A treble treble done and dusted . Is that the same as nine in a row ? Well done to the boys and Neil Lennon and to all the “Hearts” fans singing the Billy Boys bugger off back to Chelsea . Sorry the board have pulled the PR stunt with the Neil being offered the job full time at this time a move that reeks more of Jabba than our club . Anyway now the serious stuff the rugby .

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  11. Morning all and hope the hangovers are not too bad . I see the Tit on the fence has been busy deleting all the shit he had posted about David Moyes being the new manager at Celtic . Easy to be right all the time if you can go back and erase all your mistakes .

    Liked by 2 people

  12. JJ has fallen on his chocolate sword i.e. the opinion of his followers.
    The must really enjoy handing over the vigorish to him…..23 off them at the last count.

    It was a joy to have to do a u-turn for me yesterday as I attempted to pick up a hire at O’Neill’s in Albion St.
    Procession cancelled, Argyle St overcome. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Its ok he’ll recover, roll up, roll up.

      Some bullshit excuse no doubt, he’s done this many a time.

      Pat is there any way i can delete the posts where I’ve made an arse of myself?

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  13. Oh woe is me John James tricked by Neil Lennon and a mole that should have known better so back me or sack me . In the latest attempt to scare up some donations from the faithful JJ is holding a vote on whether he should continue his blog in the comments section of his speakeasy . Not sure what voting system he is using but as he controls , edits and makes up posts and posters on his site this is an election that would make North Korea blush . It would be funny if the Minge returned from the grave to stand against our exiled hero but as the Minge is a figment of JJ’s imagination it will not happen .

    Liked by 2 people

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