PEEPPUL KEEP FALLING ON MY HEAD

I remember at a primary school in Glasgow when there was a ‘Wet Play’, the Primary 3 class I was in charge of had their customary trip to the toilet, three at a time so there wouldn’t be any carry on. There was a right racket coming from the boys’ toilet so I went to investigate. Inside one of the cubicles, a boy was standing on top of the cistern, shouting abuse at the boys from another class. He saw me and immediately jumped down, bringing the lid of the cistern with him. The lid hit the toilet, taking a chunk off before landing, in two pieces on the floor. I couldn’t believe the gall of the little cunt when he said, “That wisnae me!”

He twisted his ankle when he jumped and his mother was all for suing the school for putting him in danger. I heard from another parent that she did, in fact, see a lawyer, who asked her a simple question. “How do you stop him from climbing onto the cistern at home?” Her answer was, “Ay knows no’ tae dae that!” She was laughed out the door.

And that’s the reason why children aren’t allowed to do the things we used to do in the ‘good old days’. It’s got nothing to do with ‘PC gone mad’ or the like; it’s that parents can never accept that their little darlings are to blame for anything. Even a simple game of conkers could end up in a lawsuit if one child accidentally gets hit on the hand. It’s council lawyers that insist that such games are banned and every school visit has to have a risk assessment before taking place. You can’t even let the kids inside early if it’s pishing down outside in case somebody slips and falls. The councils’ insurance only covers schools during school hours, so if you open the doors beforehand, you’re setting the council up for a lawsuit. Even simple things like putting a plaster on a cut are strictly regulated.

The way The Peeppul are blaming Kilmarnock for the collapse of that disabled shelter is exactly the same. The whole idea behind the shelter is to keep the rain off the folk inside. It’s not a bomb shelter, for fuck’s sake; the most it’s expected to cope with is a heavy hailstorm. It’s certainly not designed for fat Huns to dance on top of. The way the Huns are going on, either the shelter should be made of reinforced concrete or surrounded by spiked railings and barbed wire. And then, when one or two of the stupid cunts get their orange tops from Turkey all ripped, or their empty skulls impaled on the railings, they’ll be moaning about health and safety again.

The Peeppul refuse to heed the warning notices.

If the powers-that-be decide to act on what happened, you just know that they’ll not be able to find it in their hearts to blame The Peeppul. With the blame falling on Kilmarnock, it means that every football ground will have to look at its provision for the disabled. Not every club can afford reinforced shelters, so either disabled folk will have to sit right at the back, out of the way, or be banned altogether. This one’s going to be interesting. Of course, what the SFA and the SPFL might well do, which is standard procedure when it comes to the Huns, is simply pretend that it never happened.

The Peeppul, as usual, are putting the whole thing down to an agenda against their club. It’s all the Raynjurz-Haturz ganging up on them again. One moron on Twitter implied that Sportsound should have been discussing the shootings in America instead of the behaviour of The Peeppul at Rugby Park. Where do you even begin with that level of mental defectiveness? And, of course, they’re all demanding to know why nobody’s discussing those ‘offensive’ banners at Celtic Park!

Their main complaint about the GB banners is that the word ‘Fenian’ was on display, and yet they’re being condemned for singing about being up to their knees in Fenian blood. How fucking thick can you get! They’re the types that think because black Americans call themselves ‘Niggers’, then it’s okay for white supremacists to use the term. They obviously don’t understand irony, which is not exactly surprising since they’re just as cretinous as their racist cousins in the States. It’s not a matter of clutching at straws, but clutching at the few collective brain cells they have, desperately trying to make sense of the real world.

“…and I’ll hug him and squeeze him and call him Billy.”

Michael Stewart has brought up the subject of Strict Liability again, not realising that, in Scotland, it’s a complete non-starter. Rather than it being used to punish the Hunnish Hordes, you just know that it would be used to help their rancid team. Even if points were to be docked from Neo-Gers, the usual shite about ‘one side being as bad as the other’ would be trotted out to take the same number of points, or possibly more, from Celtic. There are too many Huns in the corridors of power to trust them with a weapon like that!

There also appear to be too many Huns on East Ayrshire Council as well, as they’ve decided to put all the blame on Kilmarnock FC as well. They’re saying that they’ve expressed concerns previously about the disabled shelter. They must have known that the Huns were going to be climbing on it. They’re also on about a ‘crush’ outside Rugby Park. Now, that’s a load of shite, there wasn’t any crush until that gate was opened and the Huns charged through. How the hell can that be Kilmarnock’s fault?

Meanwhile, the papers have all been carrying a picture of the polis, staunchly trying to repair the damage done by their fellow Huns. You’re bound to have seen it.

You’ll notice how heroic they all look, ready to protect and serve the poor, disabled folk that the evil Kilmarnock FC have put at risk. The picture reminds of something…oh, Aye…

You can just hear the singing now, “From the Halls of the Masonic Lodge, To the whores of Blythswood Square…”

There was a rather strange article in the Daily Record, reminding everyone of the hymns that used to be sung in primary-school assemblies. There was no rhyme nor reason for this piece; it came totally out of left-field. What is noticeable, though, is that hymns sung at assemblies at RC schools have been totally excluded. It might be argued that some of the hymns listed were sung in RC schools, but that was certainly not the case in the 60s and 70s. They list some of the ‘old favourites’ like All Things Bright and Beautiful, which is a distinctly Protestant song about everyone knowing their place. We never sang that at the three primary schools I attended. The DR would no doubt deny it, but it’s pretty obvious that the agenda behind the article is to let Catholics know that they’re other and they don’t belong.

One of my favourite memories of assembly hymns in the 60s was the one we always sang on the first school day in May. I never knew the name of the hymn, but a Google search threw up Queen of the May and The Lovely Month of May. We’d fight our way through a storm to get to school and turn up, hair all out of place, our balaclava helmets having been blown into a puddle or a tree somewhere, and our bare legs red raw with the freezing cold rain battering off them. After the register was taken, it was down to the assembly hall to sing, “The sun is shining brightly, the trees are clothed in green…” while the rain battered off the windows and any trees visible had been denuded of any trace of green by the wind. Aye, those were the days!

With yet another white supremacist in America getting his hands on a gun and murdering everybody in front of him, the official answer to this seems to be ‘more guns’. Republican commenters are saying that all mall security guards should be heavily armed. Christ, they won’t be happy until everybody’s got at least one gun on them. I read one piece on Twitter where somebody was explaining how it’s far easier to get a gun in America than it is to get an abortion. And yet the folk that go on about ‘Choose Life’ are the same ones that resist any moves toward gun control. It seems that only a foetus has the right to life; after you’re born, then you’re fair game for any nutjob with a gun.

Did you read about the guy that can’t get a passport because his surname is too rude? I read the start of the article and couldn’t figure out what the problem was. His name’s ‘Kennard’, which hardly lends itself to any kind of double-entendre. It turns out that he changed his name by Deed Poll to ‘Fu-Kennard’. He thought it would be a laugh. Well, you’re not Fu-Ken laughing now, are you? Prick.

The Daily Record has an article today, commiserating with those that didn’t do very well in their exams. The headline is, “What happens next if you did not get the exam results you wanted?” There’s no point in reading the piece; the answer is simple. You accept that you’re thick, go to the library, get somebody to help you to go online and sign up on this website.

Finally, I’ve seen appeals on Twitter from the folk, whoever they are, that run the Waverley paddle steamer. Apparently, the boat’s not been doing its usual runs doon the watter this summer and they’re looking for donations to help with repairs. I’ve been on the thing and it wasn’t cheap, so where has all the money gone? Maybe they’ve got debts to pay off. Just go bankrupt, stick it to the creditors and come back as the same company. Claim it was an Engine-Room Subsidiary! (Sorry!)

The Good Ship Sevco.

P.S. James Mc, I’ve never heard of Bedlay Street, Hyde Park Primary School or Auchintoshan Terrace. I lived in Springburn for five years but there were parts that were a complete mystery to me. I’d no idea what streets existed between St. Aloysius Annexe and St. Aloysius Church, or even what was up the hill from St. Aloysius Church. In fact, I knew nothing about what was behind that side of Springburn Road.

“Awright, troops? Iz usual, everybody’s tryin’ tae blame the Raynjurz supporters fur everyhin’. It’s no’ oor fault thit the Kilmarnock disabled bunker wisnae strong enough tae take the weight-y a couple-a young boays. It’s a fuckin’ insult tae oor disabled supporters tae shove thum intae some jerry-built gang hut. Ah bet they wheel the real shelter oot when they come callin’ it Rugby Park. An’ while thur aw gauin’ oan aboot oor supporters, they stull hivnae done anyhin’ aboot aw they spoon burners attackin’ an’ even murderin’ oor players it Hampden!”

Details of all my books can be found here:

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Remember, if you’re skint for any reason, just drop me an e-mail at andrsptr@outlook.com and I’ll send you Kindle copies of any of my books for free.

27 thoughts on “PEEPPUL KEEP FALLING ON MY HEAD

    1. Lots of pro lifers are for taking these guns off the streets. I am pro life for all things, abortion disgusts me as does being able to buy guns as if they were toys.

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  1. Interestingly the one shooter was a right wing nut-job (as you say), whereas the other shooter in Dayton, Ohio was actually a liberal lefty nut-job who supported Elisabeth Warren – strangely enough this is getting very little coverage in the media out here, shame he was killed, might have been more useful to get into his reasoning for the use of a weapon they are supposedly against
    The other prick gave himself up after murdering twenty people and wounding dozens – ?

    James

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  2. Fat Huns are falling on my head
    Just cos I’m disabled and my team is fucking dead
    I keep getting squashed
    Those fat Huns are falling on my head, they keep falling.

    But there’s one thing I know
    The press will not get silly
    They’ll blame Killie
    It won’t be long til everyone’s to blame but Billy.

    Fat Huns are falling on my head
    But that doesn’t mean our fans are stupid fucking neds
    Fuelled by bigotry
    So you shouldn’t try to stop our fans celebrating
    It’s just we’re Huns
    And our arses weigh tons.

    Liked by 5 people

  3. Nobody accepts responsibility for anything and its gets on my tits, people act badly all the time and never see themselves as the issue, its ingrained in people though, one simple example is car insurance we are always told never take or admit responsibility.

    After one of the shootings last year, it was even suggested that teachers be armed as schools are often targeted, I cant get my head around the mindset of people who would be prepared to live like that.

    There are far too many apathetic people who don’t have the balls to make the changes clearly needed.

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  4. Pat, Bedlay St and the cluster of streets beside Hyde Park School are all mostly gone or heavily redeveloped. The school is still there – but is now a business centre. Where Bedlay St was is now part of a wee park that leads up to the sports centre (which used to be Paddy Orr’s – part of the land of Patrick Orr, a farmer who let Irish live on his land – thus that part of Bedlay becoming something of a catholic haven, even though the nearest RC schools were St Stephens in Sighthil and the Big Roch)

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    1. Been doing a bit of investigating and have found out that Bedlay St. was down near Petershill Rd. The only bit anywhere near there that I knew was Flemington St, where my cousin lived. I’m just wondering if Hyde Park School was where the school dentist was located. I’m sure it was down that way that I went to get a tooth out when I was 10. A fucking medieval torture chamber, it was.

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  5. It is that point in the lunar cycle when JJ gets all hormonal and has hot flushes . The pop he has at James Forrest is as childish as it is pathetic and he should take it down . As he constantly edits his past output and comments anyway this would be nothing new . It seems to be open season on the Green Brigade and I must admit I did not see anything wrong with their display at the weekend and did not know it came from a song as I do not have an Irish background . If some tits have sung a song about Lee Rigby they should be sorted out by our own support as it is disgusting but to start claiming the support sings this song at Celtic Park sounds like a non starter as given how our media like to paint the ” old firm ” as two cheeks of the same arse I am sure it would be all over the media if true . Also ironic the article JJ uses to back up his claims is one of our own calling out this behaviour .

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  6. So it looks like Arsehole FC have got their man with young Tierney heading South of the wall assuming he gets through the medical . Some of the bile getting spouted at the lad by our own support does as no favours . I am sad to see the lad go but he goes with my best wishes and I hope he has made the right career choice. I am sure he will end up at a good club eventually with Arsenal just being a stepping stone . An away draw in Europe is not a bad result so all to play for next week . I have been slagging Sevco over signing old players so the picture that emerged of Paul the Tim leering out of the laptop with his arm round Jeremy Corbyn gave me the vapours . We have enough washed up shite politicians on our board without adding to the list .Panic over it was just Jessa looking for a photo op and asking the great man for an autograph .
    Tourist season is reaching peak madness here in Jockistan with hordes of campervans emptying their shite buckets into ditches and lots of plonkers that are not able to reverse a car clogging up our single track roads . Skye is in even more trouble as the hordes are not restricted to ferry times as they have a bridge .The internet has a lot to answer for as every obscure walk or site ends up on a blog or trip advisor so a self feeding storm is created . Listening to a group of disgruntled bonglies the other day moaning like buggery that they had taken a boat trip to Staffa and Fingal’s cave and had not seen the puffins . Bloody selfish of the puffins to come ashore raise their young and then go back to sea before Mr and Mrs Touroid and their fat children decided to pay them a visit . Mull has a reputation as a wildlife viewing destination but at the moment you just about have to book a parking space in a lay bye to watch the more accessible otters . If I was younger I would open an otter theme park called Ring of shite water where a few captive otters could swim around in a grubby pond begging fish from tourists . The much talked about sea eagle is already in on the act with the lazy brutes sitting about on rocks waiting for the tour boats to chuck them an air injected fish so the hordes can get a picture of a sea eagle ” hunting ” and the RSPB can flog a few badges and soft toys .

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Not great for pubs I am afraid . The NC500 is another good example of too many tourists before there is the infrastructure to handle them . I do not have the answer but when the tourists are in danger of destroying the very thing they are coming to see it is not sustainable .

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        1. You’re right, people should respect it, I cant stand littering and leaving shite everywhere, its pikey behaviour, seems to be a problem everywhere though.

          I’ve seen that certain countries bring in exclusion zones, but I’m not sure that’s possible or how you’d manage it, as jobs rely on it etc. I’m sure it was Thailand who did it where there is that beach with all the rocks everywhere, Maya bay it is, they introduced it as the place was getting wrecked.

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          1. “p-k-y behaviour” bit of a stereotype there Robert maybe even a tad derogatory not to mention a possible racist allusion to the Romany people.
            Substitute Fenian or Pa-ki for p-k-y and there would be a shitstorm coming down the track. A Club for All, Everyone & Anyone ( even if it’s in name only).

            H.H.

            JimboH

            Liked by 1 person

            1. You missed the point.
              By saying “they” you are insinuating that every member of the Romany Clan is individualy and collectively responsible for this kind of behaviour.
              This of course is patently untrue. Also, this type of behaviour is not restricted to the Romany people. You have all manner of “Travelling People”, day trippers, caravan and mobile home users and the usual Fly Tippers.
              Stereotyping and perceived racial slurs are not appropriate on a community forum that professess the ideology of being “A club open to all”.

              H.H.

              JimboH

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        2. Hector, I sent Pat some info re Pensions and my ‘Square mile guy’ has just got back to me and said, any fund over the value of £30k then it is a legal requirement to obtain advice prior to making any withdrawals, the fees for accessing range from £2-3k, which you’re probably aware of! Which seems harsh if you ask me! The other chap is not too far from you, and he may be valuable to you.

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          1. Robert , that is not true. You are advised to seek financial advice before accessing pension pot but it is not necessary. Take your 25% lump sum tax free and either take or leave the monthly pension. The pension administrators will advise you of your options. You do not need the advice of a rip off advisor. I’ve accessed my pension pot, as has my partner and it is quite simple really.
            All a a financial advisor will tell you is that , if you take it, your lump sum is tax free and your monthly pension will be less as you are accessing it early.

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            1. We would suggest obtaining the services of a financial adviser however if the fund value is above £30,000 then our understanding is that it is a legal requirement to obtain advice prior to making any pension withdrawals under an income drawdown arrangement.

              The fees payable to a financial adviser for accessing the pension fund range from around £2,000 – £3,000.

              That was their wording.

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            2. Bloody hell John I hope you are correct . I have one go at free pension advice and am not going to phone a friend until I know where I am at . The upside is I now find out that after opting out of SERPS I have another plan maturing in 5 years which almost doubles my pot . Whatever happens I will not have enough to buy Alfresco Moreorless which will haunt me to my grave .

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  7. The dog and I went for a wander through Mordor this morning to see how the ungrateful dead were taking the sale of Tierney . Some orcs were quite upbeat as the sale of a great young player has weakened our first team but the penny has not dropped that the proceeds just increase the gap in spending power with the pesky resale clause a possible source of future revenue . Some are comforting themselves with if that taig went for £25 million how much will Tav and Morelos be worth . As a player is only worth what another club is willing to pay I suspect they have their answer and their two most valuable assets have found their level .

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  8. Oh well KT passed his medical and is away . All the best young man and enjoyed watching you here . The Tit on the fence is claiming to have called it right as he had a mole on the board but more likely he heard about the £25 million release clause in the lads contract . Sevco have turned down £10 million for Morelos . Aye right .

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  9. Celtic statement,
    “We did all we could to keep Kieran at Celtic. While the club did not need or wish to sell Kieran, this was an opportunity which Kieran very much wished to pursue”

    GUTTED, wouldn’t have killed KT to stay for the 10 but who in their professional life would turn down the chance to triple their wages. Hope he’s a MASSIVE success at arse and leaves them for a MASSIVE fee of which we’ll get 10%. Loved watching him but the Cluj game showed how weak we are on the left of the park so get some £££”s spent Lawwell
    Oh and KT we want our megaphone back.

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