“Awright, troops? Ah’ve taken ma baird aff jist noo, coz Ah’ve goat serious stuff tae say. Congratulations tae hur majisty noo thit the Union an’ Brexit ur safe under Boris. Raynjurz an’ the PUL community wull bae safe an’ aw. Boris knows who ays freens ur an’ wullnae dae anyhin’ tae hurt iz. An’ ay’ll make sure they Feenyin fuckers in the SNP cannae dae anyhin’ eether. It’s a great day tae bae wan-y The Peeppul. No’ thit Ah wiz able tae dae ma bit – the fuckers widnae let mae.

Ah turned up it the pollin’ station it ten a’cloak an’ they widnae even let mae in the door. Ah hud oan the Boris Raynjurz tap Ah hud made an’ the Feenyin basturts didnae like it. They wur gauin’ oan aboot campin’ it the pollin’ station, ur sumhin’ tae dae wi’ tents – Ah cannae mind the exact word. Meanwhile, they let a cunt in thit wiz weerin’ a Sellick tap. Ah pointed oot thit his tap meant ay supported the SNP an’ the IRA ‘n ‘at, bit they widnae fuckin’ listen.

Anywye, Ah went hame an’ chynjed intae a normal Raynjurz tap an’ tried tae vote again. This time Ah made it tae the booth wi’ ma votin’ slip, bit they wurnae happy coz ma Betty came wi’ mae. Ah needed hur tae tell mae where tae pit ma X coz Ah cannae read an’ Ah cannae make head nur tail-y thur logos. Nae sooner hud Betty pit ur finger oan the boax an’ telt mae tae pit ma X there, thin we wur baith grabbed. Ma votin’ slip wiz puullt aff mae an’ ripped up an’ then wae wur flung oot. Ah tried tae explain thit Ah couldnae read bit they sayed Ah wiz lyin’ an’ thit Ah must bae the only illiterate person in Scotland in this day an’ age. Ah punched wan-y thum fur makin’ oot thit Ah wiz a basturt an’ Ah ended up gettin’ arrested. Durty Feenyin basturts! Luckily the polis let mae aff wi’ a caution.

It’s fuckin’ hilarious seein’ aw they Tarriers marchin’ in Glesga, protestin’ against Boris. As if ay’s gonny gie a fuck! An’ the fuckers honestly think thur gonny get another Indyref. Nae fuckin’ chance! Boris’ll send the tanks in before ay lets that happen. An’ it’s the same in Northern Ireland where aw the Croppies hink thur gonny get a united Ireland. Jist coz thuv managed tae outbreed aw the Proddissints disnae mean anyhin’. They should know thur place bae noo. Thur terrorist-lovin’ pal Corbyn didnae win, so thull need tae jist deal wi’ it.

It’s gonny bae a golden age in the UK. Some cunts ur worried aboot the NHS bein’ privatised, but who gie’s a fuck? The main hing iz thit wae kin get rid-y aw they darkies in the hoaspitals ‘n ‘at. It gie’s ye the fuckin’ boak seein’ thum comin’ near yer weans, tryin’ tae touch thum ‘n ‘at. It’s the same wi’ aw they cunts frae Kafflick countries in the EU; Ah mean, diz emdy really waant any-y theym touchin’ thur weans? It’s great tae hink thit, in ma lifetime, wull hiv nuhin’ bit white Proddissints livin’ in this great Union-y oors! Why the fuck wid any Proddissint vote fur the SNP Nazis ur that racist cunt, Corbyn?

Jist hink – nae chapels, nae priests, nae Sellick, nae Kafflick schools, nae terrorists marchin’ oan wur streets, frightenin’ wur wives an’ weans. Wae kin hiv Orange Walks anytime wae waant; in fact, wae kin walk aboot the streets an’ even go tae wur work wi’ wur Orange regalia oan. It could even bae made compulsory! An’ wae kin get rid-y aw the other fitba’ teams so thit Raynjurz kin win everyhin’ withoot hivvin’ tae play any matches. Wae’d bae in the Champions League every year, an’ wae nae other games tae play, wae’d hiv a good chance-y winnin’ it. Christ, Ah’m spunkin’ in ma drawers jist hinkin’ aboot it!

Anywye, here’s tae wur glorious Union, wi’ nae manky Europeans, darkies ur fuckin’ Tarriers in it. It’s gonny bae a fuckin’ Proddy paradise!


21 thoughts on “A PRODDY PARADISE

  1. Rod is a sod . Who knew ? Some of the support are waking up to the fact that Rod Stewart is a bit of a dick . Anyone that has seen how he cuts his hair and the clothes he wears knows he is a bit of a bell end . The fact he likes Backdoor Boris is just confirmation of the fact and explains why he is popular with our board . As a singer Rod has a beautiful if fragile voice and Broken Dream by Python Lee Jackson with Rod singing is still one of my favourite tunes from school days . Being a good singer is just that . Bono has a fantastic voice but is a total twat so it is nothing new . Rod is still a Celtic supporter as we are open to all but supporting Boris is a new low .

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Well done Pat, that took some effort. As for Rod the Mad, he’ll fit in well with our Board. He puts on a great show but that’s it, he’s all show. I think anyone supporting Celtic and Boris has serious issues apart from being acprat. He’ll be fine in his big US mansion while we all get screwed by the Tories. At least we can say I told you so ad nauseam to all those fooled by the media, Boris’s lies and their own racism.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Great post Mike,Your parting shot will come back to haunt millions in their quest for a peaceful sleep in the days,months and years to come,mark my words……….and yours. Hail Hail


    2. I’ll have no sympathy for them when it all goes tits up and bites them on the arse.
      I’ll reserve my sympathy for the hundreds of thousands, if not millions, who will suffer tthe price of the headlong march to Brexshit, for giving the Ultra Right wing of the Tory party Carte Blanche to rip up any vestige of fairnes and consideration for the poor, elderly and infirm in our Society. There will be no Society with a capital “S” under the Tories.We will see further growth in foodbanks and a dependence on charities for the most needy among us.

      They may have got “Their Country” back but they surrendered their soul and conscience. A bitter price to pay but Hell mend them. They deserve it.

      The Meek shall not inheirit the earth not in this lifetime.

      FC not Plc.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Sevco were top of the league for some minutes today just not long enough to bring out a DVD to celebrate the fact . Normal service has been resumed . Frimpong continues to impress and am wondering if anyone has put his name to the Ying Tong song yet . I would like to see this run of games over and the players get a break in the sun to recharge the batteries as a few look tried . The Green Brigade banner has caused a bit of a stooshie which I suspect was what it was supposed to do and I don’t see the problem . Rod is entitled to be a Tory dick and the GB are entitled to call him out on it end of story as far as I am concerned . El Burro got his marching orders at last but just for two yellows not the straight red he has been asking for but it is a good start .


  4. Good morning from Jockistan on the sort of morning weather wise you would not even put a Tory outside . The interweb is full of the latest SFA wheeze to get money into the Sevco bank account by using the training facilities at Slurry Park . Nothing the SFA do surprises me any more and until we get a clear out and reform nothing will change . The transfer windae is not far away and we are being linked with all manner of weird and wonderful names . Now that we have a head of recruitment that is not in post because of the old pals act I would hope we can go about business quietly like in the last window with some surprises like Frimpong to look forward to . A bit of squad trimming could also be on the cards . Rod gate rumbles on and I don’t see the point of getting hot and bothered about it . The GB has got everyone talking about them again and it has caused a few conservatives to wet the bed other than that move on .
    I am a few chapters into the latest Pat book and am enjoying it though I am surprised how deluded some of the Christian nutters are having being brought up in a fairly extreme church myself . Still it takes all types .


    1. I got one as an early Chrimbo prezzie.

      I couldn’t make head nor tails of it.It was just a continous line of jumbled up Alpha / Numeric characters with Arcane symbols and a few emojies thrown in.

      When I contacted JJ he said it’s so that it could not be passed on to Pat & Phil to plagerise.

      I said to JJ that was not much good to us his loyal (small L) supporters. How were we supposed to read it? JJ says that there is a algorithm that can be used to decode it and it can be had for a further £50. So that’s alright then.


      FC not Plc

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Very happy to see that big lanky bhoy Bitton sign a new contract . Never complains , can cover a heap of positions and gives his all . Squad player does not cover players like this and is rude as without his type any team would struggle .

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Good morning to you all . JJ has decided to share his forensic thoughts on the election result at last and like the thick conservative bimbo now out of work did not use his postal vote so as far as I am concerned has no right to complain about the result . If you don’t take part then give it a rest . His small hardy band of so called members of the speakeasy seem like Phil to hate Scotland so they can do one as well . I suppose the delay in the great man sharing his take on our election must be down to the time difference between our home and the planet Zob where JJ lives in exile to avoid the intergalactic unionist death squads scouring the cosmos and burning cars in Ayrshire in an attempt to silence our hero . Sadly his wingman the Minge has already fallen to the hitmen .


  7. I wasn’t going to comment on Rod but fuck it. Everyone knows Rod is a bit of a knob end, he loves Celtic, that much is obvious and I believe it’s great for the club to have him around as a sort of unpaid ambassador if you will. Yes I’m aware he has a seat for life and enjoys top table hospitality but I believe he gives Celtic more than he takes from them. He, like the bloody Green Brigade is entitled to his opinion, if you don’t like it tough shit.! There are many Tories on the Celtic board…GB are strangely quiet on that matter.! Also, it’s time someone from Celtic let the GB know they are on thin fucking ice….they are NOT Celtic. Yes they bring colour and atmosphere to games, but they are not above the law at Park head. Tell them to fucking behave or shut them down.!!

    Liked by 1 person

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