RUB OF THE…ER…BLUE

I didn’t see Celtic’s game against AC Milan, but I see from all the moaners on Twitter that they didn’t play very well, at least in the first half. It doesn’t seem to have occurred to some of these geniuses that maybe Milan were just too good. Anyway, the big test is going to be against Aberdeen. If they fail that one, then I might just start panicking.

Meanwhile, Neo-Gers managed to beat Standard Liege through a penalty (surprise surprise) and a so-called ‘wonder goal’ by Kemar Roofe. The agnivores are all spunking themselves over this goal that was apparently scored from the half-way line. As I’ve said before, I don’t find this kind of goal impressive at all. Nine times out of ten such a ball would go straight over the crossbar, or miss the goal entirely; it’s only sheer luck that it’s gone into the back of the net. If the guy was doing this every other game, I’d be prepared to admit that it was deliberate and be suitably impressed. That’s unlikely, though, so, my opinion is that Neo-Gers rode their luck, as usual.

Football, however, pales into insignificance next to the disgusting decision by the Tories to vote down free school dinners for children in England during the holidays. Some folk have been calling their attitude ‘Victorian’, but even the fucking workhouses fed the kids during the holidays! And I see that Scottish Tories were all there voting against it as well. What happened to EVEL? This was only going to affect England, so why were these cunts allowed a vote? Yet, when it comes to the NHS, SNP MPs aren’t allowed to vote, even though if spending is reduced in England, the Barnett ‘Grant’ is reduced accordingly.

I’ve seen a few people moan that the tax payer shouldn’t be expected to pay for other folk’s children, yet I haven’t seen any of them complaining about the Royal Hausfrau being handed millions to bail her out because her investments have gone down. Meanwhile, billions are spent on a useless nuclear deterrent. Just who the fuck is it meant to deter? The Soviet Union is long gone, so who are they pointing at? There’s bombs going off and MPs being killed in the street, so they’re not doing much fucking good, are they? And they certainly haven’t deterred the Russians from getting involved, clandestinely, in British politics. A waste of fucking money, especially when there are children going hungry.

Wee Red Card Ross, only a couple of weeks ago, was banging on about all primary-school children getting free school meals, so how did he vote? The wee shitebag decided to abstain, so he can claim that he didn’t vote against the proposal. The very sight of that wee cunt is enough to turn anybody’s stomach. I don’t know what the hell’s wrong with the people of Moray voting the wee bastard in.

“D’yez honestly hink Ah gie a fuck aboot starvin’ weans? Ah kin get away wi’ sayin’ wull dae anyhin’ in Scotland, coz wur never gonny be in power there, ur wae? It’s no’ ma fawt thit they Labour wans doon in England decided tae throw a spanner in the works, tryin’ tae get Boris tae feed other cunts’ weans! Next hing ye know thull bae waantin’ tae gie haundoots tae aw the fuckin’ Gyppos!”

I was reading that the documentary about Princess Diana was alleging that she was conned, or even blackmailed, into that interview twenty-five years ago. Quite coincidentally, Martin Bashir, who conducted the interview back then, has come down with a bad case of Covid. It looks like there’s lessons to be learned from politicians after all.

“Hey, ya bastard! Ah’m iz sick iz a fuckin’ dog, so Ah um. Ah’m nearly iz sick iz Boris Johnson wiz!”

Pub and restaurant owners are kicking up fuck about having to close for another week. You’ve got to laugh when they state that all they’re concerned about is people’s jobs. One woman on Scotland Today was saying how her staff wouldn’t be able to pay their mortgages. Mortgages? On the paltry wages paid in the hospitality industry, how the fuck could anybody afford a mortgage? And then some posh student moaned about having to struggle if she couldn’t rely on her wages from the restaurant. I’m sure mummy and daddy would be able to help out. I’m a cynical old bastard these days!

Here, Hector, about The Damned. They were the first punk band to release a single, the first punk band to release an album and then split up in February 1978. They got back together with a new bassist in 1979. Ever since then they’ve split up and reformed multiple times with various line-ups. The news that they’ve got back together yet again isn’t exactly ground-breaking! The only constant over the years has been the lead singer, Dave Vanian. Now, if they replaced him, that would be news!

As for Johnny Rotten, he changes his mind about things every five minutes. He reminds me of Monti, who’ll say anything to wind folk up. (He’s currently doing a great job of it on Twitter.) I learned long ago not to listen to a word Lydon comes out with; he’s full of absolute shite.

I agree with AlecB. The SNP can put up a chimpanzee in a tutu that identifies as a lesbian orang-utan for a candidate and I’d still vote for them. The important thing is independence; everything else can be sorted out afterwards.

“Jist yous try soartin’ me oot, ya fuckers!”

On the home front, I recently had a bit of a run-in with a woman on Der Fuhrerhund’s walking route. We always pick up Der Fuhrerhund’s shite but on this particular day he dropped a liquid puddle of diarrhoea, which was impossible to lift. It was pishing down with rain, so it would get washed away soon enough. I got back up off the grass onto the path, when this harridan comes out her door, shouting, in a Yorkshire accent, “You didn’t pick oop yer dog’s shit!” I explained to her that it was too watery and went on to ask why she said nothing to the others whose dogs’ shite was everywhere. I ended by saying, “So, fuck off!” I haven’t seen her since.

She has a flag pole in her garden, flying a huge saltire, which didn’t really fit with her accent. I reckon she’s read all the shite in the Daily Mail about English folk being driven from their homes and thinks that by flying a Scottish flag she’ll keep the imaginary marauding Jocks at bay!

Finally, I’ve got a favour to ask. My books for children, especially the Skyscraper Rocket Ship series, have had zero readers in all these years. Anybody fancy reading free Kindle copies and putting reviews on Amazon? They don’t take long to read and you could probably get through all four in the one day.

“Awright, troops? It looks like Raynjurz urnae jist gonny win the league this season, but the Europa Cup an’ aw. Iz long iz thur’s no’ another plague comin’ doon the road tae let the corrupt SPFL haun’ theym another tainted title. An’ Ah’ve heard thit the Doop Party in Northern Ireland huv fun’ oot thit it’s the Kafflicks thit ur responsible fur this Covit hing, no the Chinese. Aw jist tae stoap Raynjurz winnin’ thur rightful place it the toap. Basturts!”

Details of all my books can be found here.

If you’re skint for any reason, drop me an e-mail and I’ll give you Kindle copies of any of my books. I don’t need any big explanations – just ask!

16 thoughts on “RUB OF THE…ER…BLUE

  1. I was aware of the dammed during my student days and the only thing that stuck in my head was the names of two of the band members and the fact that the lead singer looked like a pound shop Dracula. Still none of their music springs to mind. Late seventies Edinburgh had a vibrant music scene with lots of live gigs by punk bands and my favourite at the time the bands promoted by Two Tone records. The new romantics were also getting going so it was fun time to be a randy young man on a government grant with raging hormones and six years in an all male boarding school to make up for. The fact that any MP thinks it is acceptable for children to be short of food in this country is just not on. It is not the fault of the child if their parents for whatever reason are unable to put food on the table so there has to be a safety net and free school meals during the holidays is part of that net. I suspect some of those having a pop at the young footballer and his mother doing good work to feed children are just closet racists as well as heartless scumbags. We need to get out of the UK and sadly the current shower at the top of the SNP are not that interested as they are too busy topping up their pensions with their snouts in the trough. God Pete Wishart even tried to get elected as speaker at Westminster and would likely accept a stoat coat were in on offer. Thankfully the Yes movement is a lot bigger than the SNP which a few seem to have forgotten. As things stand I will have to vote SNP 1 at the next election but will likely give ISP my second vote in an attempt to shift some of the unionist bed blockers that get in on the list.

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  2. My local MP James Cleverly who unfortunately for me lives yards away has claimed just the 26k in expenses this year, the next tosser along James Cartlidge claimed 54k, these wankers all have their noses in the trough. Every single one of them is at it whilst telling us what can and cannot be afforded, oh lets not forget the 3k pay rise thats just been sanctioned. The full expense list could pay for an awful lot of meals!

    What all these MP’s are missing including the PM based on shit decisions made on a daily basis and the snugness of their interviews is how it feels to have ever been smacked in the face and take a doing. If they all could receive that I’m convinced it would change their outlook and decisions.

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  3. Sadly these selfish, corrupt a holes ruling us haven’t a clue or a care. They grow up in an entitled bubble, are abandoned by their mater and pater to be rogered for years on the playing fields of Elton……did this give rise to posh dogging I wonder? They have no idea how ordinary people live and struggle to get on with their draconian measures.
    It’s sickening how they splaff millions upon millions on useless companies that are never going to deliver…ferries or PPE or track n trace systems. I’ve never known a more venal and corrupt party. Nai Bevan had the rights of it:
    What is Toryism but organised spivvery? … No amount of cajolery can eradicate from my heart a deep burning hatred for the Tory Party … So far as I am concerned they are lower than vermin.

    So Tory politicians can’t help themselves. It’s in their corrupted dna. Blame the flag waving, foreigner hating, drum thumping, mindless uncle toms who vote them into power. It’s an endless sadness that there are so many of them in Scotland.

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    1. The contracts going out to these companies is a huge scandal oddly many are tied to MP’s and the cost of which is now into the billions with zero tender activity and track record required. There seems to be a magic number of £108 million with a few of them must be to do with accounting for where the cash goes after a certain limit, most of which is upfront!

      There is limited reporting on any of this activity also which means they will get away with it!

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  4. As it stands in this country the only and best way out is Independence.
    Labour are finished in Scotland. The only way they have any chance of regrouping is if they support Independence.
    This Tory government are the biggest bunch of clowns in the history of politics.
    As for Celtic, there were some encouraging signs in the second half against AC Milan . I predict a good win at Aberdeen tomorrow and again next week in the Cup Semi.
    Keep the faith Bhoys.

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  5. Charlie from yesterday, plenty have complained about etims, including me, but nothing gets done. Anyway, I managed to let them know you’re OK.

    P.S. I think I saw that ET as well. He said:”Take me tae yer leader’. Ah telt him:”It’s Bojo”. He said:”Aw fur fuck’s sake! Ah’m away hame tae Mars”.

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    1. reports of ma demise have been greatly exagerated saint et telt me the same so a went tae mars wae um the pubs ur oen up ther heh heh ………keep the bong close and the buckfast coser mate heh heh COYBIG

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      1. Charlie, since Ah cannae get ye back oan etims Ah’ll tell ye a wee joke tae cheer ye up efter a bad week. (Ah think Ah’ve telt ye the wan aboot the man oan the desert island wi’ the sheep but Ah don’t know if Ah’ve telt this wan).

        Billy MacBigot goat a joab at the sewage works an’ oan his first day came hame covered heid tae toe in shite.
        “Whit happened tae you?”said Senga
        “Och, Ah hung ma jaiket ower a railing an’ it slipped aff an’ fell intae the slurry pit”
        “An’ ye jumped in tae aw that shite efter a manky auld jaiket?”
        “Ah hid tae – ma piece wiz in the poacket!”

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  6. Having had the pleasure or not, of mixing with politicians on a regular basis, I can confirm that I only know one or two who have tried to better the working mans lot by sprinkling a touch of militancy. Most have been young labor, uni educated, hung out with a certain crowd where their ideas are formed in the clique. Not being too harsh, I would love to line them all up and gie each of them a kicking that they wouldn’t forget. These bas*ards have never went hungry or been unemployed but it’ll be these bas*ards who will one day be leading the so called workers party, Labor. (That’s how it’s spelled here in Oz before anybody corrects me).

    In Oz, trade union secretaries wield enormous power within the labor party which leads to factions vying for control to see who can be billy big baws. Looking after their members seems to be an alien concept to them and belongs to some other minion. (See above for a brown tongued hack desperate to climb the greasy pole). The result of all this mismanagement is that the figure of union membership, sits around 12% from a high in the 70s of almost 50%. My hatred for some of these useless c*nts is almost on a par with my hatred for the Tories.

    I’ve been hearing excuses trotted out about one or two of our players. Big Shane has been pish after a promising start and the keeper is rank, full stop. Why can’t Neil just come out and say, they’re pish and they’ll need to up their game or fuck off. Oh that’s right, he signed them, or did he? The older of the support have been banging on about how they’ve had to suffer real pish in the 90s before Fergus and telling all the moaners to get behind the team. I can’t understand that logic. Cheer and shout hurrah, when they’re pish.

    Anyway, independence is on its way so it’s all good. 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🇮🇪👍

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  7. Really enjoyed the game today, don’t know what people are moaning about……..aye right! Don’t start me, oops too late, I’ve started so I’ll finish:
    Time Duffy was dropped, the guy is crap, may be the nicest Irishman fron Dun a Goilheid or however Phil describes it, but he is a liability the way he is playing. Ajeti couldn’t catch a bus in front of a bunch of old pensioners, he’s that feckin slow. Feck knows what Eli the Uzi brings to the team, and why the two of them get a game ahead of Griffiths who knows, if he ain’t fit enough by now then he never will be. Seemed fit enough to bang in a cracking goal.
    All is not lost as it is a long season…I know this because these 90 minutes are a long watch just now.

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  8. God the blogs are boring at the moment. Phil has posts about long dead Irishmen and Rugger Bugger has looked at the Celtic accounts Woo Hoo. JJ has resisted the urge to pop out from behind his paywall to have a kick at Neil Lennon and Bible Bill is quiet unless child abuse is mentioned. At least us vile cybernats have the SNP civil or it should be not so civil war to keep us awake. Not sure where all this gender self ID nonsense came from but when Scottish women are having a crowd funder to take the Scottish government to court to prevent them erasing women to mean the female sex you know things are not alright. The SNP yoof or twitler youth as they are known refer to me as a boomer ejaculator not an old man and seem to invent new terms every other day. Stirling University has a lot to answer for.

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    1. Careful Hector, I think Pat went to Stirling! At the risk of being banned by Pat or told I’m a hun by Tam (whit?!!!), I’ll say again this comes right from the top and a leadership clique that no longer views independence as a priority but is obsessed with a bizarre woke agenda to reshape society.

      We won’t get the chance to ‘sort everything out’ post independence because we’ll never be independent under Sturgeon. No one ever comes up with an answer to the simple fact that her insistence that we can’t have independence without a section 30 rules out every alternative. Instead we’re asked to believe that the Tories, who won’t even feed hungry children during lockdown, are going to roll over and sign away their last colony because we ask them nicely. It’s nonsense and she knows it.

      This has nothing to do with anyone’s sexuality – Joanna Cherry is a lesbian and would make an excellent leader. As for ‘chimps in tutus’ – well, you don’t need to put on a dress to be declared a ‘woman’ in Nicola’s brave new world. If you don’t think this is a threat to your female relatives, have a look at the bearded weirdos who are already posting pictures on social media of themselves in women’s toilets in feverish anticipation of self-ID becoming law.

      This problem won’t go away just because we close our eyes to it or because we shoot the messenger even if it’s Rev Stu (or me!). When the election comes and the media are all over this as they will be, Queen Nicola’s much vaunted ‘pandemic popularity’ will disappear like snow off a dyke (oops!).

      We need a party whose focus is on independence and not on alienating half the electorate with virtue-signalling woke lunacy. Let’s end the personality cult – Nicola is not the Messiah, just a very naughty…well, I don’t know what gender we’re supposed to call anyone anymore!

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      1. What do you expect? hold a referendum and it can only prove a point that independence is wanted in huge numbers, then what? she has no option but to ask.

        As for the woke stuff, we will look back at in a few years and wonder what the hell it was all about, its a huge waste of energy and time on absolute waffle and nonsense, its mainly about compliance and making people change to suit warped agendas from angry people.

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        1. The point is that NS has hamstrung the independence movement by insisting we need Westminster’s approval for a referendum, effectively giving England a veto over Scotland’s future – a strange position for someone who claims to believes in Scottish independence. We’re supposed to be an equal partner in a voluntary union – a partner, not a prisoner, voluntary not compulsory. I certainly don’t recall that fat clown Bozo asking the EU for permission to hold his Brexit vote.

          As an ignorant Sassenach😁, you may not be aware that NS could call a referendum any time she wants. (Don’t worry about it – most Scots are unaware of it too and Nicola’s certainly not going to enlighten them). In fact there’s no requirement in law to get England’s permission first. Section 30 is only Westminster’s agreement to abide by the result. It makes any subsequent ‘divorce’ less acrimonious but there’s nothing to stop NS calling a vote anyway. If a majority voted for independence in such an ‘unauthorized’ ballot, what is the government in England going to do? Send in the tanks? They’re constantly telling the English public we’re a liability anyway so the average little Englander would be glad to be shot of us.

          NS has no dynamism where Indy is concerned. She’s been too busy with her pals trying to fit up Alex Salmond in case he makes a comeback and takes her job. She has a comfy well-paid sinecure at Bute House, surrounded by her hangers-on and adoring acolytes, and is happy with that.

          Now I really am going to leave it there as any criticism of St Nicola tends to cause a meltdown on here. There’s none so blind as them as what won’t listen😁😁😁!

          Liked by 1 person

  9. Nothing wrong with being a boomer ejaculator Hector, as long as it is not done in public.
    We ( boomers of a certain age) could have our own versions of the guy whose van is providing a safe injection facility in Glasgow and elsewhere. They could be strategically placed throughout the land and we could nip in for an emergency ejaculation hit when the need arises.
    We could also have a deterence factor against overuse by Pat providing photos of the Hunettes from this site.

    I’m thinking of changing my name to Michael Collins, or one of the other deid heroes of Phil’s Irish boredom ramblings. How he managed to calmly circle the moon while waiting for Armstrong and Aldrin to return from the surface really impressed me…..didn’t know he was Irish, so thanks Phil. On the same tack (why not, my meds haven’t kicked in yet) thank God Rugger Bugger wasn’t in mission control, or Collins might have taken the elliptical to Mars and they all would have been fecked. No doubt he would have blamed Lawwell or Mhairi Black.

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  10. Remember the old Billy Connolly joke that most English people think that the Jags official name is ‘Partick Thistle Nil’? Well, it seems that most people think that the official name of the Huns* right-back is Tavernier (pen).

    Not that I’m implying that the rotten mob get more penalties than anyone else, you understand. After all, these things even themselves out over the season, do they not? Or am I just getting a tad cynical in me old age?

    Hail Hail

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