I’m not entirely sure about what to make of that match at Pittodrie, but I’m still not panicking. As for the referee’s performance, it seems that everybody’s disagreeing with Neil Lennon’s assessment. I’m not. Aberdeen’s first penalty was dodgy as hell. Ferguson was leaning back into Ntcham, who was trying to get around the cunt. Then Ferguson performed a dive that El Guffalo would be proud of. Even on Sportscene they were saying that Ferguson went down deliberately. Their assessment, though, didn’t say anything about cheating; they called it ‘clever play’. Strangely enough, when they were debating whether or not Elyounoussi had gone down too easily, part of the debate was about whether it should have been a penalty at all. ‘Elyounoussi ran into Hoban’s leg’ was the conclusion. What the fuck did they expect him to do? He could hardly stop himself, could he?

Aberdeen’s second penalty looked cut-and-dried in the clip that Sportscene kept showing us. Before that, though, when they were showing the actual play, you could see, quite clearly, that McLennan deliberately ran into McGregor’s feet and threw himself over; you could even see that he hesitated slightly before making his decision. The replays were shown from a different angle, simply concentrating on the contact, which made McGregor look guilty. Then there was Gollum’s delay in blowing the whistle as he waited to see if Cosgrove was going to score. Certainly, if advantage is played, the game can be stopped and called back if the advantage doesn’t work out immediately. I’ve seen this on many occasions, but that was the first time I’ve ever seen play called back after a team has missed a goal. Operation ‘Stop the 10’ is in full force.

Neil Lennon, I see, has been having a go at all the nay-sayers and panic merchants. Quite right too! It’s not as if Neo-Gers are way ahead and there are only a few games left. They’re six points ahead and we’ve got a game in hand while there are, what – twenty-seven games left? There’s plenty of time to turn things around. Meanwhile, Edouard will soon be back and Griffiths is getting up to speed again. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – it’s far to soon to start panicking. Even Phil Mac is talking about Lenny looking depressed and I’ve seen folk on Twitter posting pictures of him signalling to the crowd, saying they want that Lennon back. Maybe they haven’t noticed, but there’s no crowd for him to signal to. What do they want, him acting like Steven Gerrard, running up to the TV camera? Get a fucking grip!

The Yonghy-Bonghy Bo has been telling the Huns how he heard all about Raynjurz’ history from his dad in South Africa. Er…is he sure his dad told him all the history? How about the fact that they’re the most bigoted, racist supporters on the planet? How about the fact that they all seem to be vehemently opposed to BLM? Or how about the fact that the old, dead club were dirty, cheating bastards?

“Hands up if you think I’d never even heard of Raynjurz before they looked to sign me!”

Wee Red Card Ross has been explaining why he abstained from the vote to feed poor children in England. Apparently, it was a ‘crisis of conscience’ about EVEL, with him thinking he shouldn’t be voting on English matters. The cheeky bastard goes on to say, however, that he’s going to stay on the Scottish Government’s case. What for? They’re already planning to give free school meals to children over the Christmas holidays. Wouldn’t his time be better employed trying to persuade Boris and his band of boneheads to do the same? As it is, he’s said nothing to signal that he disagrees with Johnson. Fucking wee shitebag!

“The real reason Ah waant free school dinners ower Christmas is cos Ah kin easily pass fur a school wean. Parliament’ll bae oan Christmas recess an’ Ah kin get free meals. That’s how Ah couldnae gie a fuck aboot what happens in England – cos Ah’ll no’ bae there!”

As Hector says, all this gender ID stuff is getting completely out of hand. Somebody on Twitter posted some document that was calling women ‘menstruators’, while somebody else found some online guide about childbirth, which talked about the ‘birthing’ and ‘non-birthing’ parents. Fuck me! It’s all very well supporting LGBTUVWXYZ people but, for some reason, the word ‘woman’ is being deleted from the language. It’s like something out of Orwell’s Nineteen Eighty-Four! I don’t understand, though, why Hector brings my Alma Mater into it!

The first time I encountered this business of gender ID was a long time ago when an arty-farty arsehole called Genesis P-Orridge (Whose name tells you all you need to know), insisted on being called ‘s/he’ as he considered he and his wife to be one, genderless, individual. Who knew that this kind of pretentiousness would become popular!

Mind you, I’ll still be voting SNP when it comes to it. I simply don’t believe all this shite about Nicola Sturgeon being against Scottish independence. And I’m certainly sceptical about those other cunts, Scotia. I’m willing to bet that their funding comes from some Unionist source.

Speaking of Unionists, the other kind, the NI ‘Loyalist’ kind, are planning some big celebrations next year for the hundredth anniversary of their bigoted statelet. Of course, the Orange Lodge are right in there, talking about big parades. You’ve got to laugh, though, when they say that the marches etc. will be ‘inclusive’! Yes, I can just see Irish Republicans following the bands, telling themselves to ‘go home’ from their own land! These cunts live in a wee world all of their own.

Everyone, Anyone.

NASA’s big reveal about the Moon was a bit of an anti-climax. I thought they were going to tell us that its orbit had decayed and it was going to crash into Earth in five years. (Time to get out the Ziggy Stardust album!) Maybe they’d found out that it was made of green cheese after all. At the very least they could have found some cunt sitting there, playing on a ladle. Water? Big fucking wow!

“What aboot me, ya fuckers?”

NASA’s big discovery’s got nothing on that of Der Fuhrer the other evening. While wiring into spaghetti and meatballs, she announced that cutting the meatballs in half made them easier to eat! Now, there’s a real world-changing discovery! People everywhere will be singing Der Fuhrer’s praises as they no longer have to attempt to fit oversized meatballs into their mouths, spreading tomato sauce all over their faces and almost breaking their jaws as they try to get their teeth round them. Halleluiah!

“Meatenbollen? Waiten-sie eine fucking minute. Ich thought Ich vos eine vegegassenfarter!”

“Awright, boaysies? Ah don’t know what aw the fuckin’ fuss is aboot. Ah never hiv any bother wi’ ma gender identity!”

Details of all my books can be found here.

If you’re skint for any reason, drop me an e-mail and I’ll give you Kindle copies of any of my books. I don’t need any big explanations – just ask!


24 thoughts on “MOON HOWLERS

  1. The people moaning about Lennon sitting in the dugout motionless looking depressed are the same people who were moaning when he was booting water bottles and getting touchline bans for speaking out.

    We are off where we should be as a team but that’ll come in time, what is annoying me is the talk of Europe isn’t important this season when its vitally important to what we can achieve domestically.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. It would appear that that Lady Hunette, she/it/them person above, could do with Pat’s good lady’s wisdom re the meatballs, as she has obviously scoffed them “balls an’ all” as they used to say back in the day pre pc talking. She has also probably eaten the dog in case it got up on its hind legs to wash the dishes.

    Hector has probably looked at her photo and reconsidered the awfulness of the Changeling the SNP have given his area as (he she it them they non binary, etc) must be a looker compared to the person adorning the fag filter above

    Heard Raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaman on STV news wet himself over the South African boy the Huns have pursued with the relentless ferocity of the wild big cheetah tracking a gazelle ( see I can write Daily Record shite too)
    Any chance he is Dave King’s gardener, or worser than worseness, his unmentioned fruit of a dalliance? Just speculating, and putting it out there first. might not be only his eyes that are playing away.

    Celtic will beat Lille, as Ajeti couldn’t catch the bus and is hitchhiking to France, and they’ve brought Edouard back instead. I wil be pleased to eat humble pie if Ajeti scores a hat trick tomorrow, and we win.


  3. Howdy Patrice! Pish couple of results Bhoys and Ghirls, but despair not. The Royal Albert Hall is to put on a big concert with a full hoose, big hoose must stay open eh! So as the posh, minted cunts can let their hair doon and get full a claret! Thank fuck for that, I’ve had nothing but sleepless nights worrying about they poor bastards, what way missing the Proms in that! A fucking shame. And they say nurses have a bad🙄.
    I hope the roof faws oan the cunts! I cannae wait till we get the ten! They bastards celebrating already. No like them eh🙄. And the daft cunt Fae South Africa saying his auld boy was telling him aw aboot the Huns when he was a wee guy! Who’s he fucking Da in South Africa? Dave King? I would take everything that lying cheating bastard says way a pinch of salt son! As Pat say’s. You’ll be getting the Maurice Edo treatment when ye make a mistake when the KKK Arena is open Tae the hoardes once more. Fucking Bawbag! That Tory chookter prick Ross does my box right in!! Every time I see his face it gies me the fucking boak! He’s snobby, Tory, Hun pampered fucking everything I hate aboot cunts like him ripping oot him!👿. Fucking wanker! What’s the Phil fella pontificating aboot this weather? Don’t tell me! Fair Caledonia? He lives in Donegal? That wee ugly SNP Burd 🤔🤔. Great Eurika moment Der Führer had concerning the scran Pat. Wish my Mrs would come up with something, anything remotely interesting but she never fucking does, it’s probably cabin fever so I’ll live in hope.
    Keep us on our toes Pat Bhoy 👍. Stay safe buddy. Keep on rocking in the free world!🍀🍀🍀💚.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Good morning all . Firstly nothing wrong with Stirling University as a teaching institution it is just that it and the Stirling branch of the SNP seems to be the focus of a lot of the the woke nonsense. Now that Alyn Smith has been elected as the MP for Stirling in the 2019 election the stench of corruption gets worse and it looks like the plot to get rid of Joanna Cherry had its origins in that area and one of those behind it is a Stirling Uni lecturer. I was Zooming last night as one of the hustings for Argyll and Bute was broadcast on Zoom. Four ladies made their pitch to replace Mike Russel as the fifth runner fell before the first fence and will not be missed as she is a bampot. That is my first look at the chosen one Rhiannon Spear and I suspect she was a machine gun in a previous life as she fires soundbites on full auto. The woman is a self promotion machine and not sure she could find Argyll on a map . Were she to become our candidate I suspect A and B could fall to the Tories she is that divisive. Still the local show will likely have a drag queen class and I will be able to go for a piss in the ladies toilet without dressing up.


  5. Just seen in the Oban Times that wee Red Card Ross was in town last week . Sorry to have missed the little shit and as usual he is in and out before anyone knows he is here to prevent the plebs revolting. Not sure I can remember chunky Ruth visiting the area but then she hardly visits her constituency.


  6. Good morning campers. I did not get the memo so not sure if we want our managers head on a spike this morning or if he is off the hook. Televised football is flat without the crowd noise but at least Celtic are starting to play some reasonable football. Shame I can’t get to see the thoughts of JJ on the subject but even £10 is a bit steep for a month of the great mans thoughts. Also I will never forgive him for murdering the Minge. Managed not to zoom last night so missed the latest SNP hustings as there is only so many times you can listen to the same soundbites. Rhiannon Spear the high priestess of Woke on social media says she has a fire in her belly but that is likely to be an iffy curry as the only thing she is passionate about is herself. The SNP seem to be in a bit of bother over ring fenced cash vanishing among other things and if we are to get Indy the SNP needs a good clear out at the top and that includes the first minister. Sadly at the moment there are very few suitable replacements that could unify the party given some of the deadbeats we have voted in over the last few election cycles. If things don’t improve membership numbers will continue to decline my own included. I will still vote SNP but am dammed if I will continue to fund them. Sad that it has come to this.


    1. The only upside to it is hearing what the players and management are saying and how they organise, disappointingly I couldn’t hear anyone shout at Ntcham to pull his finger from his arse and track back.


    2. Get rid of Nicola?!!! Heretic!!!

      PS I see on another site you mention the local hustings and that the Chosen One said she wasn’t committed to a section 30. I’m surprised she wasn’t ‘disappeared’ like Joanna – what will Nicola say?

      PPS Don’t worry, your secret identity as a reader of Wings is safe with me – oops!😁😁😁


      1. Owen
        There’s more than one Hector and he’s a Tim as well.
        He’s a Undertaker. Works for HMRC
        burying Deid Cos.

        Fc not Plc
        Stay Safe.
        It’s still oot there.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I would not call myself a secret reader of Wings but a supporter. During Indyref I was not a member of any political party but campaigned hard for yes. Wings and Aye mail sent me copies of the Wee Blue book and I converted at least one confirmed No to Yes. If a few more had done the same we would be out of the UK at the moment. Wings can be abrasive and swears a lot and I disagree with some of his stuff but as a proper journalist digging away and as an analyst he is second to none. I have had heated arguments with him but am not on his famous block list as he is willing to debate unless you are a total dickhead. Prior to Mrs May calling an election we were gearing up to go for son of Indy ref and Aye mail had produced and funded Indy packs containing campaign material as well as flags, badges and the like that registered Indy groups could buy for a token £20 and then the sale of the flags would raise over £400 for the Yes group to use for Indyref 2 . This fundraising and campaigning has got nothing to do with any political party and is the strength of the Yes movement. I joined the SNP after Indyref as the last protest left and thought I was signing up for independence and I may leave the party also as a protest I am hanging on in there to have a say in who replaces Mike Russell and to have a say at conference then if the woke wing gains more ground I am gone and someone else can put up the election signs and turn up at polling places in the dark to make sure wee red card Ross is not in a ballot box eating votes. Nicola has squandered the momentum and good will following Indyref and while a good administrator is no fighter for Indy and may even be a nasty piece of work with the farce of the Salmond case and all the murky goings on. I will still vote SNP 1 but will likely vote ISP 2 to try and remove some of the Yoon dead beats that pollute our parliament though Red Card is likely safe as they will stick him on the list and he can do a Murdo and slither in under the door despite no one in their right mind voting for the dead beat. Message ends.


        1. Sorry Hector, I didn’t mean to imply anything furtive about you being on Wings. At first I thought it might be JJ stealing somebody else’s thoughts but we know how he feels about Indy.😁😁😁

          I think we both share the same sense of despair at the drift in the party under NS. It’s certainly not a popular thing to point out and has cost Campbell a lot of donors but fair play to him, I think he is doing us all a favour in exposing what’s going on.

          For myself, the Salmond stitch up was the end of the road. I won’t vote for the SNP until the leadership is cleared out, so I’ll have to spoil my first vote and go Indy party on the list.

          Liked by 1 person

  7. Have to eat half an humble pie as Elyannousi was pretty good last night…shame he blew the 3rd goal, but heyho, that’s footy.
    Ajeti wasn’t the worst on the pitch either, though he is as mobile as Duffy, but not as clumsy, still, played well, though hate to see players giving the ‘I’m in a huff’ look as they are substituted. Brown took that on the chin and geed-up his replacement.
    Still think Griff with his movement uo front is a better option but Lennon thinks otherwise, so moan over. The problems only started when Ajer went off and the back line was a bit here and there.

    How come professional footballers, and Celtic the most professional in the land, can’t last 90 minutes of high intensity…it was the difference Rodgers made when he took over, but now it is gone.Every team looks fitter than us, from Clug to Copenhagen in Europe, and even Aberdeen are looking better prepared.

    Hate to say it, but more than you, Hector, are pissed with the SNP just now….no Plan B to be debated? feck that, and the financials and Salmond affair are stoking a lot of resentment as well. They are starting to look like Labour of old, who took the support for granted, and then indulged in in-fighting that destroyed them to this day. I’m also not giving any more dosh until there is some concrete commitment to a referendum.
    Also sick to death of the list of fanny lesbians, fannies without fannies, fannies who had baws and now have fannies, who menstruate, don’t menstruate never did menstruate, can identify themselves, can’t identify themselves, don’t know what the fuck they are or have been or will be in future, and yet want to run a country by curious gender assigned placemen/wummin’/whatever. Just give us some c**nt who can stop spouting bullet points and answer a question concisely as to when the referendum will be, and what they are going to do to help win it, so that all the disparate Indy groups can work towards the goal. Miss the Boris Shitshow timeframe and miss the Indy…simple!
    Feck, thank God for Pat’s blog, it lets you have a good rant before your meatballs.


  8. What a waste of time waiting for big friendly Boris and his chums to bore us to death with slide upon slide of shite, most of that was a PR stunt that contradicted itself throughout. I feel for anyone in business right now been a shite year and most of all hospitality, its the sacrificial lamb in all this and it looks like the government is taking action but nothing has changed at all, its business as usual. It was interesting to note Boris said all will be well by spring, has he learnt anything from his predictions earlier this year? has he balls. Unbelievable.


  9. So are we still hanging our manager this afternoon and wanting Duffy dropped ? Good result but the lack of a crowd does spoil the whole thing just like the rugby yesterday. At least F1 is not bothered by the lack of the crowds as it is just boring shit with or without the punters. With a bit of luck the team is starting to click and we can kick on from here.


  10. Duffy was better than last week, which wouldn’t be hard, but still give credit where it’s due, he was ok today, but there are more accomplished footballers could play his position, Jullien, Elhamed, and as shown today, Biton. Ajer is the shoe-in when fit. Just my opinion.
    My wife and I started watching Duffy fling himself about the turf, some of it was quite funny as the ball was nowhere near at the time and had been cleared. Still well done to him and a team that in the first half looked better than we have seen all season. Rogic is class with skill, Laxalt the left back we have been missing since Tierney, when Edouard gets up to speed we should be ok.
    Used to watch F1 from the days of Murray Walker, when it wasn’t a computer controlled sport. When Elon Musk buys a F1 team his A.I. will do away with the driver and no-one will notice. It is so feckin’ boring I can’t watch more than the start to first corner to see any action.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Bonsoir one and all!.
    Another two of your books arrived today Patrice! Looking forward to reading them, wouldn’t mind them signed Pat Bhoy.. Don’t know how that works right enough, but if there’s a way you could sign my collection I would be extremely grateful mate👍 . Anyway. Another final troops, though Fat Boyd is at loose end as how the games are going ahead as he thought it was for the money but no fans can go and what’s the point and Ra Peepel urnae in it and it’s no fair and it disnae really matter anyway!! Fucking fat Dode Bernard Shawbag!! They must employ that prick to just annoy the fucking living daylights oot us Bhoys and Ghirls!! It cannae be for any other fucking reason!!! That bastard Ross is in soapy with FIFA. That’s aw I’m gauny say aboot that cunt goes he gets my blood pressure up🤪. Big Rogic makes some difference when he starts, hope he stays injury free… See the huns penalty? Fucking stonewaller! What was that wanker thinking🤔. Must be a fucking Hun! Stay safe troops!!🍀🍀🍀💚


    1. I don’t know how signing the books could work, unless I purchased them beforehand. I’d have to make them dearer as I’d have to pay the postage from Amazon and then the postage to the buyer. If my books were any dearer poor Monti would have apoplexy! (Not that he’s ever bought one, mind you. Too busy installing utility rooms and the like.) Maybe when all this Coronavirus is over I’ll nip through to The Croft and folk can bring their books to be signed!

      Liked by 1 person

          1. Basically an electronic signature, depending on what you use to edit documents you can add it in. I use PDF editor for my programmes and you can add a signature, I can then sign documents with a normal automated font or depending on what tablet or computer you use actually use your finger or a pen to sign the document. It’s still not as authentic as a wet signature but its quite a nice touch.

            Liked by 1 person

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