THE HISTORY BHOYS

So, is this the big turning point we’ve all been hoping for? Well, that remains to be seen. Will Neil Lennon stick with the line-up that played so well against Lille come Sunday, or will he go back to the ‘old faithfuls’? I didn’t see Thursday night’s game but, by all accounts, Turnbull and Soro were a revelation. The big question is, though, with other players underachieving, why the hell were this pair picking skelfs out their arses on the bench? What the fuck did Celtic buy them for? Hopefully, we’ll start seeing some changes.

I’ve been reading in the media about how Edouard, Ntcham and others wanted to leave in the summer and are pissed off that they’ve been kept on. If that’s true, then they’re hardly doing their case any good, are they? All they need to do is look across the city at El Guffalo to see that nobody wants to buy a petulant brat. The way they’ve been playing, Celtic will have to pay somebody to take them off their hands.

“What d’ye mean, petulant? Say that aboot me again an’ Ah’ll refuse tae play at aw!”

Meanwhile, the ones on Twitter, banging on about ‘spoilt’ and ‘entitled’ Celtic fans are in their element, saying, “We told you so!” They don’t seem to get the fact that playing the likes of Soro and Turnbull was what all those ‘spoilt’ fans have wanted all along. As things have turned out, those ‘entitled’ supporters have shown that they do know better than Lennon! Maybe Lenny should nip outside and ask their advice before picking the team in future. Maybe Peter Lawwell should consult them too when the January window opens. And I’m not being sarcastic here; many supporters have proven that they know what they’re talking about!

Peter Lawwell already has January signings lined up.

The Daily Record had this headline, second from the left, the other day. Many a Hun probably clicked on it eagerly, hoping to read about some crazed Feenyin almost killing one of The Peeppul. Their keenness would quickly have turned to disappointment when they actually read the article. It was the other way around; a sociopathic Neo-Gers supporter attacked a total stranger with a concrete-filled baseball bat, shouting ‘Feenyin bastard!’ as he did so.

Now, it didn’t mention anywhere in the article that the thug was one of The Peeppul, but they made the mistake of mentioning that he was wearing a ‘Rangers’ scarf. The judge asked for reports on the character and what he discovered scared the shit out of him and he decided that the guy was too dangerous to be let out on bail. The thing is, though, is this maniac representative of The Peeppul? The Daily Record certainly made no mention of such a conclusion and nobody among the Huns would be too happy to accept this nutjob as one of their own. It’s a different story, however, when it comes to Celtic supporters.

Somebody put a banner up on the fences at Celtic Park saying, “Shoot the Board.” The way the Daily Record reported it, the whole Celtic support was responsible for the banner. Then again, they can narrow it down to the Green Brigade. Surely it’s just whoever put the banner up that’s responsible.

Pat Nevin, seemingly, is currently writing his autobiography so the Daily Record decided to give us a taster. His playing career was obviously a boring pile of shit since the most interesting thing he, and the DR, could come up with is about Celtic Boys Club and Jim Torbett. Nevin, being a canny youngster, thought there was something dodgy about Torbett and stayed out of his way. That gives the DR an in to drag up their usual stuff attacking Celtic for harbouring paedophiles. Of course, as everyone knows, it was the only club where paedophiles operated. It’s a pretty pathetic excuse for a Hun-like attack on Celtic.

“Is ma soup ready yit?”

I don’t pretend to understand what’s going on with these court cases and investigations involving the SNP. To be honest, I’m not in the least bit interested. Like most folk, all I’m concerned about is an independent Scotland and the way our media go on and on about the ‘scandal’ in the SNP just looks like a desperate attempt to put folk off voting for the party next year. Compared with the Tories, every member of the SNP is a fucking angel, while all the lies about ‘anti-Semitism’ in the Labour Party are more scandalous than anything going on in the SNP. They can’t get at Nicola Sturgeon herself, so they’ve decided to attack her husband instead, trying to make her out to be guilty by association. They’re so fucking transparent.

Nicola Sturgeon’s hubby, yesterday.

The latest Unionist rant is about Scottish History being taught in schools. According to Tom Devine, who should know better, it’s going to be nothing but SNP propaganda.

“The Scottish Nationalist Party’s 27-page narrative, ‘The Road to the Scottish Parliament,’ begins in 1296 when ‘King Edward I of England invades Scotland’ – the ‘Hammer of the Scots’ who is sensationalised in the Hollywood epic Braveheart.”

That’s a quote from the Daily Mail, which, as you can imagine, is totally against the idea. How is it any different, though, from the current narrative in terms of propaganda? The current narrative regarding Scotland is that it was a poor backwater until it joined with England and then it prospered as part of Great Britain. Now, if that’s not propaganda, I don’t know what is. The way History is taught at schools, certainly up to and including ‘O’ Grade, ‘Standard’ Grade or whatever it’s called nowadays, is what’s known as a ‘Whig’ or ‘Whiggish’ view of history. That means that history is seen as a story of things gradually improving, stage by stage, until we reach the present ‘paradise on Earth’. So, replacing one Whiggish view of history with another is hardly going to make a big difference, is it? The whole thing frightens the shit out of the Unionists, though, and that can’t be anything but good!

Speaking of history, the Tory press are trying to re-live it. With all the arguments over Brexit, they’re demanding that Boris Johnson send in the gunboats to protect fishing rights. Christ, the European fishermen will pish themselves laughing when a Royal Navy ship arrives and then starts sinking because the sailors can’t bail it out fast enough. Meanwhile, big gangs of Brexiteers, inspired by the Dunkirk spirit, will be there in small boats to fling shite at the fishermen. It’ll be more like Planet of the Apes rather than another Trafalgar!

“England expects, Mavis!”

There was an opinion piece in the Daily Record, saying how TV soaps don’t show anything about class divisions or poverty. Much though some people think they are, however, soaps aren’t real life. Eastenders, for example, portrays a London East End that doesn’t exist any more, if it ever did. Then there’s Hollyoaks, with all those impossibly good-looking people living in the one place. I gave up watching soaps a good while ago, not because they don’t reflect real life, but for another reason entirely. As I keep telling Der Fuhrer, the things are neverending so one day you’ll die not knowing how things turned out with a particular storyline. Der Fuhrer is unimpressed with this logic, though, and spends ages trying to catch up with episodes of soaps that she missed for some reason: Doctors, Eastenders, Coronation Street, Holby City and Casualty. She’s actually 100 episodes behind with Doctors. It’s a lifetime’s work!

Speaking of soaps and soap stars, I have to agree with Frankie Dunlop about Barbara Windsor. A ‘National Treasure’? She’s hardly what you’d call a role model for young women; hanging about with gangsters, sleeping around with all manners and having umpteen abortions rather than using contraceptives. As well as not being what you’d call a good actress, she wasn’t particularly attractive. She became something of a sex-symbol mainly due to looking, and being, easy. Also easy were the laughs that were raised by her boobs. She was like a walking, talking Donald McGill postcard!

Cor! You don’t get many of them to the pound!

If you want to see spoilt and entitled, then look no further than my grandkids. Der Jungfuhrer was telling me that they won’t watch anything on normal telly because of the adverts. They were watching The Simpsons on Sky One and were well pissed-off that they couldn’t just skip the adverts, like they do when watching YouTube. They got bored waiting for The Simpsons to come back on and went off to do something else. Der Jungfuhrer was telling them about the ‘old days’ when you had to watch the adverts or fast-forward them when watching something you’d recorded on video. It just shows how quickly things are moving when Der Jungfuhrer is only 28 but the technology she used is now history!

“Awright, boaysies? Ah used tae get called the Barbara Windsor-y Monklands back when Ah hud sticky-oot diddies. Thur hingin’ doon tae ma waist nooadays. Ah never hung aboot wi’ gangsters, though, jist miners, an’ jist wans thit supported Raynjurz. An’ Ah never hud any abortions eether. Ah didnae need tae; ma da showed iz how tae pit a johnny oan when Ah wiz twelve!”

Details of all my books can be found here.

If you’re skint for any reason, drop me an e-mail and I’ll give you Kindle copies of any of my books. I don’t need any big explanations – just ask!

 

17 thoughts on “THE HISTORY BHOYS

  1. Thanks Pat for another entertaining read. Funny how the DR and its columnists blatantly attack the Celtic fans and players and the Board do nothing. What the hell are they there for?
    As for history in schools. It’s the glories of the British Empire shoved down our children’s throats and a sanitised, Braveheart version of brave Scotia. It the truth we’re told about the way Scotland has been treated….sack of Berwick, Baliol the puppet, Darien, the Rough Wooing, sold out by a corrupt Anglophile nobility, Churchill and the tanks, the Highland Brigade and it continues into today. If the actual reality was taught, just facts, no need to sensationalise it,, we would have been Independent generations ago. ( How long is a generation anyway lol?). Then teach the reality of the empire, theft, robbery of cultures, destruction of ways of life, partition creating endless trouble, concentration camps, massacres and endless wars all to feed the wealthy of England. It just beggars belief that anyone in Scotland could even think of voting Tory.

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  2. Afternoon Padraig!, ” Just a wee joke about wanks changing their names to Irish Gaels, but no you Pat Bhoy 😂👍”
    I seen the Huns won again! I never seen it but apparently Fat Pie Munching penny share Ally was saying El Donkey should have got his marching orders, according to Fat Wankstain face he was a lucky boy….fucking hell man he must have slit somebody’s fucking John O’Groat for that bastard to say that!!
    I see Fat Bojo is over in Europe and apparently nae cunt is listening tae him, can you blame them! With all his “Wiffle Waffle” and “Contrik tasting. Contruk Trasting. Cantrook Trsten” Did anybody here him trying to say “Contract Testing?”
    Fat Etonian Useless Cunt! And he’s the fucking Prime Minister Tae🙄.
    The out pouring of grief for Auld Babs is gathering pace, not that it needs to. It’s gonnae be fucking Dianaesque the time the Auld Cows Etchasketched!!
    National Treasure by all accounts. National Treasure my Fucking Dode Bernards man! Great friends with Ronnie Kray! A notorious child rapist and liberty taker. Banging Sid James behind her man’s back FFS! There a fucking nonce if every there wis wan! Aye that’s it. I’m taking my wean oota Stirling University and saying “Nevermind your career wee yin. Be like Babs”. Ah fucking despair…..
    Half time Bhoys and Ghirls. No again! Pleas nae mair points drapped 😭😭.
    Too be continued. I’m off to get the Stew oan and listen Tae the gemme in the kitchen. I forgot Tae get pie paste, bastard! It’s fucking pishing Doon and I’m no going oot. Dough balls will have tae dae. Catch yeas Droogs👍🍀💚.

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    1. It wasn’t a bad game to be fair and we looked a lot better in defence, going forward we were unlucky not to have 4 or 5. Still a long long way to go, and looking at the fixtures up until new year we have the ‘easier’ teams, should be full points on the board.

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  3. Good result, team played well, Ajer’s a good right back, even Big Duffy had a decent game. Shame the ref let Killie play ping pong with Frimpong again. That boy takes some abuse, but like the great Jinky, he gets up and goes again, and again.
    I think the commentators are getting a wee bit carried away with the new boys, as, although they did well again, they’re not in the superlative league they are being credited with.
    Soro does alright, but Brown is a better class because of his experience. Soro’s time will come, I’m sure. The big goalie did ok again, but in 180 minutes he has hardly had anything to do…which is good news for the defence who are protecting him and doing a good job.
    Laxalt far outshines Taylor who seems incapable of putting the cross beyond the first oppo player, but is a trier.

    On another note, Pat, if you keep putting photos of female pulchritude in front of my coupon, my old ticker will eject more than my cardiac stents. A pair of Smiddies and that gorgeous burd from fuck knows what depth of depravity, and I’m a gonner.

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  4. Einstein is quoted as saying “The more I learn, the more I realise how little I know” I used to think this was a wonderfully incisive thought…Until, that is, I considered Huns, Tories and Scottish Unionists. I’ve learned enough to know that I, and anyone who reads blogs such as this, have galactic sized brains and unquantifiable knowledge compared to those fucking stupid bastards who Einstein obviously never encountered.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Just spotted the latest assault by El Burro on an opposition player and it is one of his most blatant. When you jump you raise your arms to help launch yourself but the video clearly shows the fat thug is already on his way down the ball is long gone and it is a deliberate smash in the other players face. He is a cheat and a thug and not a very good one as if he were he would be playing for PSG. I see Scrooge is alive and well as a few miserable Yoons having a pop at the twitter account of Blaze the talking collie for offering to post a free copy of his book to any kids in hardship so they have a Christmas pressie. All sort of snide remarks about trying to get rid of unwanted books. Lots of people have offered to help the author with cash but he has declined as it undermines the point of the act of kindness. The talking dog has form as in 2016 he produced a calendar with his own photos to sell to raise funds for Skye mountain rescue team and even got some signed by some celebs to auction on e-bay to raise extra funds. The attack on the Blaze account will have nothing to do with the fact the author is a well known Indy campaigner and writes for the I Scot magazine. God the miserable bastards will be having a go at Pat next for offering free Kindle copies of his books to all in hardship apart from Monti as he is clearly well off as he has a utility room . Bah Humbug.

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  6. I see the singer Amy Mac Donald getting a bit of stick on twitter as she has posted a picture of her meeting the pope this week. A lot of the stick comes from Tims claiming she is orange. I doubt if she was a true bigot she would be posting a picture of her meeting the holy father but then I am a teuchter so what would I know. I may have to take a socially distanced walk through Mordor to see how the orcs are taking it.

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  7. Good morning from Jockistan. Dawn patrol this morning and took the dog for a walk through Mordor and it is very quiet over there. Did I miss something ? A few of my Sevco loving friends have gone AWOL in fact not heard from them since Celtic were knocked out of the cup. I wonder what they are up to. The Scottish government thought crime bill got through its first stage yesterday which is a bit of a shit and if it makes it into law it could be the end of blogs like this one that mock the orcs and the masons. Disrespecting Sevco would become a hate crime in the eyes of the peelers who lets face it are always looking for ways to have a pop at Celtic fans. It was the same with the offensive behaviour bill which was so poorly drafted it had to be removed. Between this bill and the GRA nonsense the SNP seem to be determined to lose votes and a mandate for an Indyref which is a strange state of affairs.

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    1. Have you bought your raffle ticket for one of the rainbow flags Nicola has signed? No signed saltires though – must get your priorities right in today’s SNP.

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      1. No and I have binned the raffle tickets and am ignoring the St Andrews day appeal as not prepared to pay the legal fees of her husband after having my donations used to pay for motor mouth Alyn Smith’s damages. It would be nice if Nicola had attended a Yes movement march rather than just Pride marches. The SNP needs to clean house.

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      2. I don’t think Pat need worry about NS being found guilty by association with her ‘hubby’. I doubt there is much in the way of pillow talk going on in that household! (Unless it’s about how to fit up Alex Salmond as a sex pest of course). 

        Seriously, at the risk of being labelled phobic, how many MPs and MSPs do the Nats have who are gay? I’m sure I read somewhere it’s 25% at least. Is this why the gay agenda has become so important to the party? They need to get back on track with independence as their core belief. 

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  8. Popped in to the den of bears over on Rangers media to see how the orcs are doing and all I get is a page with a lock on it and a message that I am banned and do not have permission to view this site. Not sure how I will cope. Still I had access there longer than Phil’s twitter account.

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    1. Did Jimmy Bell pack the wrong shirts for last night’s game. While the shorts had fading Castore labels the shirts did not and had old style shirt collars instead of the ribbed/elasticated circular one. Supply chain problems already?

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  9. Congrats to St Mirren for making Mcgregor rage again, who’d of thunk that another team would beat the acclaimed 2020-21 Invincibles, (as recently crowned by the media). Hope Motherwell take the lesson and give them a doing at the weekend.
    Also see that Jim Goodwin got the red card for his Irish(?) salute when the third goal went in. Apparently it means “the game is over” both there and in Columbia. Must have been a lot of emigrants to South America in the 1800s. Maybe Fat Alfie is a closet Tim?

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