That’s been nearly two weeks since I was last on here. I’ve been spending most of my time sleeping and slowly progressing with the final volume of the Neo-Gers saga. As I’ve discovered on here, I’m far from being the only one that suffers from depression, so you’ll probably understand how I’m feeling. I just cannot be fucking arsed most of the time! Anyway, enough of the self-pity, there are things to talk about.

The Ali Baba Party didn’t do very well in the election, did they? And it’s hardly surprising; their PR wasn’t the best. I explained to Der Jungfuhrer that her plan to vote SNP on both papers was a waste of time, but she was adamant that she wasn’t voting for a ‘pervert’. She did listen, though, and ended up voting Green on the second ballot. Meanwhile, various members of the Ali Babas were online, advising folk to spoil their first ballot paper and even to vote Labour in Nicola Sturgeon’s constituency. They were hardly making it easy for the SNP to support them for the list vote.

The really shocking and disgusting aspect of the whole election, though, was Labour supporters voting Tory and Labour candidates happy to acknowledge the votes of Tories. It means the end of Labour in Scotland. Even when independence comes, everyone will remember how they were happy to dismiss any ethics they had so easily just to stop the SNP.

“Ah’m turnin’ in ma fuckin’ grave, so Ah um!”

Speaking of being blinded by hatred of the SNP, a newly-elected MSP was saying on social media how it was a bit of struggle financially when she doesn’t get paid until the end of the month. We’ve all been there and even Ruth Davidson uncharacteristically sympathised and gave her some advice. The vile Annie Wells, meanwhile, attacked the poor woman, saying how SNP MSPs only think about money. Even worse, some Ali Babas agreed with Wells, going on about SNP snouts in the trough. I’ve even seen one Ali Baba praise wee Red Card Ross for his verbal attack on Pete Wishart. Whose side are these cunts on? They’re even trying to blame the unsavoury scenes at Glasgow’s Pollokshields on Nicola Sturgeon!

The whole idea behind the Home Office sending officers into Nicola Sturgeon’s constituency was pretty obvious. And to do it on Eid ul-Fitr (or Wee Eid as the Muslim pupils in my classes called it), when folk would be celebrating with their families shows what a sleekit shower of cunts they are. The whole community turned out to stop them arresting a couple of asylum seekers, with Glasgow’s Finest turning out to confront the locals. There were pictures and videos showing the rozzers kicking folk and throwing them about. I wonder if they’ll act in the same way when the Huns turn up at George Square!

“Maist-y ma men thit wur it Pollokshields huv booked Saturday oaff an’ ur lookin’ forward tae gauin’ tae George Square wi’ a cargo tae celebrate the 55. (Ah’m plannin’ oan gauin’ masel’!) They hud tae make sure none-y they black bastards wur gonny hing aboot there fur days oan end. Thank fuck they asylum seekers wur let go! They can grab the cunts another day when aw the heat’s died doon an’ get thum tae fuck oot oor country!”

Glasgow Council, the Scottish Government and Police Scotland have hardly done all they could to stop The Peeppul gathering in George Square, have they? A wee message to Neo-Gers saying, “Gonny no’ dae that?” was scarcely going to cut it. Meanwhile, the Council have put up what’s been called a ‘ring of steel’, not around the square but around a statue in the middle. The Huns have already decorated the scaffolding with flegs and, with no reports of the stuff being removed it’s pretty obvious that they’re not going to stop the illegal gathering. In fact, they’re practically encouraging it!

English football pundit Adrian Dumhun has been singing Steven Gerrard’s praises, saying that his Neo-Gers team’s Ersatz Invincibles season would be more of an accomplishment than Celtic’s real one. He spouted a load of shite about how only eight years ago Neo-Gers were being beaten by teams in the lower leagues. He ignores the fact, however, that they’d still get beaten by those teams if it weren’t for the helping hands of referees. Even on Wednesday they needed a penalty when they were struggling against Livingston. No doubt there’ll be a penalty or two or an Aberdeen player sent off to maintain their unbeaten run in the league.

The agnivores, meanwhile, have already chosen Steven Gerrard as their Manager of the Year. Christ, they were in a helluva hurry to do that, eh? The season isn’t even over yet, with the Scottish Cup final still to play. There’s a possibility that Callum Davidson could end the season with two trophies, which is a monumental feat considering St Johnstone have spent a fraction of what Neo-Gers have. (I was going to say they’ve got less money than Neo-Gers, but they probably have more. Neo-Gers, as usual, have been spending money they don’t have.) They’ve been desperate to give Gerrard this award ever since he arrived and they can’t wait around to see if Davidson is going to out-trophy him. If St Johnstone win the Scottish Cup, then this award will be a fucking travesty. Still, it’ll keep The Peeppul onside, which is the most important consideration.

“Ngister Gerrard deserhs ehry accolade gauin’. Ay’s done a grillyant joag it Raynjurz. Ngister Traynor’s kindly kit ays haun uk nga arse so Ah kin tell yez aw!”

Well, it wasn’t much of a send-off for Scott Brown, was it? He should have had crowds cheering him as he held up his tenth league trophy in a row. Unfortunately, it wasn’t to be, and I’m not just talking about Covid. Even if the pandemic hadn’t happened, Celtic were never going to be allowed to win this season. And it wasn’t just the SFA and the Scottish Government that were against them; the Celtic board had a hand in it as well. I’ve mentioned my opinions in this regard on here before, but I’ll be going into more detail in my book, if I ever finish it!

“Well, wae couldnae let the chance tae be legends an’ go doon in the record books stand in the wye-y wur fincancial plans, could wae?”

On the home front, Der Fuhrer has got her appointment for her second Covid jag, while I’ve yet to hear. Strangely, our first one was done together. Either my letter’s still to come or they’ve decided I’m already deid. I’ll need to get in touch. Der Fuhrer, meanwhile, is, as usual, convinced she’s suffering from angina, DVT or elephantitis or something. (Sometimes the internet is a curse!) She wanted a check-up at the doctor’s before getting her second jag but, also as usual, she kept putting it off until it’s now too late. She’s now wondering if the jag’s going to kill or cripple her, but, in her usual stolid way, says she’ll just mention things to whoever’s giving her the jag. I’m sure they’ll be all genned-up on every health condition going!

I was reading Angela Haggerty on Twitter the other day talking about her terror of wasps. It reminded me of what happened recently. I’d just stood up from the lavvy pan after having a shite and a preliminary arse wipe, when I noticed something moving. I couldn’t believe it when I saw a fucking huge wasp swaggering about the lavvy seat. Normally, I try to let the brutes escape rather than killing them, but you can’t afford Buddhist sentiments when your drawers are round your ankles. I beat the cunt to death with the thick volume of science-fiction short stories I’d been reading and flushed it down the pan. I’m sure Karma will catch up with me sooner or later!

I thought the PIP boys were taking far too long to get back in touch with me so I phoned them on Tuesday. The woman said they were way behind because of Covid and couldn’t tell me when I’d be contacted. On Wednesday I received a text telling me I’ve got an over-the-phone interview on the 26th of May. That surely can’t be a coincidence! Anyway, wish me luck!

“Awright, troops? Aw this business wi’ folk hivvin’ a go it Raynjurz supporters is gettin’ pure oot-y haun. Wur no’ even allowed tae sellabrate wur team breakin’ records an’ bein’ the maist successful team in the world! How come it’s awright fur aw they illegal immigrants tae attack the polis in Pollokshields? They shouldnae even bae in the country. An’ then thur’s aw they anti-septic terrorist lovers doon it George Square. How come it’s awright fur theym an’ it’s no’ awright fur us? They wur probably vandalisin’ stachoos an’ everyhin’. Ah don’t believe aw this stuff aboot Israel attackin’ Palestinians. Aw they pictures ye see ur really Jewish weans, gettin’ hurt wi’ rockets fired bae that Hummus lot! Anywye, see yez aw the moarra doon George Square!”

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15 thoughts on “SQUARE GO

  1. Hope everything goes well for you pat with the pip mob can’t understand why we need assessed if your doc says your not in good health then that should be more than enough HH


  2. Great stuff Pat, glad to see your back on. Hope your feeling better soon pal. Keep the faith.
    Good luck with the PIP.


  3. Pat if you have to appear then remember the rools.
    1. Have a helper
    2. Take a 4.5 minute break between 12 yards
    3. Wipe your forehead every 1.3 yards
    4. Follow the rools from 1-3
    5. Good luck.


  4. Good to see you back Pat and as for depression there is certainly very little cheer about these days. It looks like the orcs are going to hold a super spreader event in Glasgow today so any sane person that can should avoid the city centre. I even see some using the anti deportation demonstration the other day as justification for a day of pissing on statues and beating up park benches. A strange lot. Been out with the camera a fair bit and some of the behaviour of some of the so called green tourists is a disgrace. Trampling over ground nesting birds to get their otter picture and barging in on front of people already set up on an otter or eagle is scumbag behaviour and it can only be a matter of time before these arseholes take to the air with drones. The established wildlife tours keep them under control but on their own time they are just a pest and doing real harm. I have unfollowed a lot of Celtic bloggers on twitter as it is just a constant diet of click bait and made up shit about the club being linked to every player you have never heard of. If we ever get a manager then I will start paying attention again but at the moment a waste of time. Have a good one Pat and look on the bright side you could be a hun or English.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Argh ffs, cmon Hector, you’re hardly a cure for depression are you?! You still doing your samaritans work?

      More good news I’ve seen this week, East Anglia will soon have white tailed eagles, now the question is do i cancel my trip to Mull? What do you reckon, if you’re anything to go by then all the inhabitants of Mull must be hospitable.

      Here’s Mr Packham with an accurate doodle of Hector:



  5. Well thank god the season is over as it has been gruesome. Thank you Scott Brown for all you have done and enjoy the next chapter in your career. Now that this stinker of a season has been put to bed can we please get a manager appointed even Roy Keane for non football related reasons and get on with the rebuild. Looking at the pictures from Glasgow sod all masks or social distancing as the hordes of Mordor march into the city centre and looking at the spread of ages a lot of those people there will not be vaccinated so here we go again. The new variant of Covid causing big problems in India has been known about for weeks and yet travel is still going on between the two countries for reasons unknown. Getting shot of Westminster is getting to the point of urgent if we are to survive as a country. Even my English neighbours want to leave the UK. In other news for the incredibly dim out their the Island of Mull is still surrounded by water so unless you are a strong swimmer a ferry is required. You can thank me later.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Well police Scotland that went well. Violence, drunkenness, vandalism as the Queen’s eleven enter the city centre to make new friends and spread a little joy. At least it comes as no surprise as they have form and apart from the poor souls living and working in ground zero normal people were able to avoid the carnage. As the peaceful protest to prevent the eviction and deportation of a couple of Sikhs was described by the yoon press as a a mob I wonder what this will be called. It must have been pissed off Chelsea fans again. There would seem to be plenty of phone footage out there of orcs kicking each other in the head and bottling each other to ensure a good number of the animals see the inside of a prison if the peelers and our bent prosecution system have the will. I wonder if our old friends the Huns of Strewth took part. Anyway off out to look at otters and divers in the sea that as of today still surrounds this island. Who knew.


  7. God that Howe fellow has not even been appointed yet and I am at the stage of calling for him to go as fed up of hearing about the bugger. If he will not sign move on as it is getting boring and is doing damage to our chances for next season. Twitter was fun today and some of the comments on the orc who blew half his hand off with a firework he was holding in George Square are priceless. No mention of red hand or only having six fingers left on the hand with damage to the web.


  8. Great blog as per Pat Bhoy!
    Depression is a fucking cunt mate but you’ll get there, Der Führer will see tae that pal 👍💪💪🍀💚.
    Well ah fucked off through tae Auld Reekie for the weekend tae avoid the most predictable event in the history of predictability! The Huns went mental, wrecked the toon, punched fuck oot each other, hunnettes pished and shat in doorways, Mair violence, graffitied a chapel, smashed the Celtic shoap again, attacked the Polis, who are aw fucking Huns anyway, were as racist as ever and were just basically disagreeable 🙄. Oh! And some stupid Hun bastard blew hauf he’s mitt aff way a fireworks.🤣🤣🤣🤣
    Carlow and that prick Fraser are fighting the Huns corner but are really just making a general cunt of thursen. As usual it will be a tiny minority, 49% is a fucking minority! A bit like saying aw Nazi concentration guards wurnae aw cunts!! Red caird Ross is quiet! Cunt!! Remind me of the fucking flag they bans were waving Dougie?, Ya fucking wee fanny!!
    It will be Interesting tae see the Covid Queen’s reaction today. She’ll probably say “It was a tiny minority and Tim’s that did it. The majority of Huns were all exceptionally behaved and a credit to their great club, 55 in aw rat!, They Arra Peepul!” So get on way it ya whining Fenian bastards! The famine is ower, get Tae fuck ra lot of yeas! No Surrender! 55 and Aw Rat!!!
    Or words Tae that effect 🙄. I’m no getting started. Too fucking early and no had my green tea yet! Fenian Bastard!! Green fucking tea ah naw I here ye shout First minister! Aye, ye dae! Fucking Boot!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

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