WALKING BACK TO HAPPINESS

I haven’t bothered watching the Livingston game since, by all accounts, it was a load of shite. Not that it matters; as I keep saying, Celtic aren’t going to be allowed to win anything this season. The myth of Neo-Gers improving under Gerrard has to be maintained. It seems Neo-Gers were shite as well, but the referee and his merry band of linesmen were there as usual to save the day. A blatantly offside goal and Motherwell being denied a penalty, however, weren’t enough to stop it ending in a draw. Perhaps it was considered a bit too obvious to give Neo-Gers their customary penalty. And so, Neo-Gers will continue to be carried to another league title and maybe even a cup or two.

“How the fuck wid Ah know if it wiz offside ur if Mothewell should-a hud a penalty? What d’ye mean, it’s ma joab? Ah wiz only here tae see the Raynjurz!”

Neo-Gers are due to play Sparta in Prague later this month and Glen Kamara’s lawyer is warning The Peeppul what to expect. Apparently, supporters in Prague are notoriously violent and racist and there’s a serious risk of loss of life. Er…does this guy know The Peeppul at all? They’re well-known as some of the most racist supporters on the planet and their violence on their travels is almost legendary. It seems even a tenuous link to Neo-Gers is enough to get you talking pish!

Staying with the Huns, and Four Four Two magazine has decided, in its wisdom, to declare Ibrox the top stadium in Britain for atmosphere. By God, they must be easily impressed! Anti-Catholic and anti-Irish bile along with Orange anthems and poorly-spelt and poorly-organised tifos. Add in the numerous objects thrown onto the pitch and you’ve got all the atmosphere you could wish for. They should have turned up in Glasgow last Saturday when the whole city was treated to this ‘atmosphere’. Speaking of which, I can’t believe that some people (or Peeppul) have been arrested for racism and sectarianism. Isn’t that the whole point of the Walks?

Speaking of the Walks, it’s getting harder and harder for Neo-Gers to distance itself from these racist ‘fun’ days. Not only are the pavements lined with folk wearing Neo-Gers tops, but at least one band on Saturday played Follow Follow on their fifes (they’re not real flutes), while Mr. Follow Follow himself, Mark Dingwall, was pictured, among others, wearing their Neo-Gers ties with their sashes. Aye, Everyone Anyone.

“It’s Kafflick schools Ah blame fur aw the bigotry in Scotland!”

Meanwhile, wee Abdul was out and about again without his carer. Where the hell are his parents? Don’t they know The Peeppul are ripping the absolute pish out of their son? How they must have laughed when they got him to shout into the phone camera, telling us ‘Fenians’ that we don’t belong in this country! Of course, the poor bastard doesn’t realise that his ‘pals’ would as soon send him ‘back home’ as anybody of Irish descent. He wasn’t the only ‘celebrity’ attending the Walks on Saturday; that junkie from The Rangers TV was there too. Not that she’d have been aware of what was going on; she looks as if she has her address tattooed on the back of her hand, so somebody can take her home when she forgets where she lives.

“Christ! The. Queue. Fur. The. Meff. A. Doane. Cli. Nic. Is. Fu. Ckin. Shooj. The. Day!”

The Ancient Greeks believed that the flute was invented by the goddess Athena. She liked the sound of the thing, but she thought it twisted her mouth and made her look ugly, so she threw it away. I don’t think that’s anything the Huns need worry about, as this specimen illustrates.

I think his face is twisted that way naturally, probably due to him being full of hatred.

I’m still seeing Huns online arguing that The Famine Song isn’t racist or anti-Irish, but simply about Celtic and to wind up Celtic supporters. So what the fuck is that line about fuelling U-Boats by night supposed to mean? You can say what you like about the Nazis, but they were obviously expert mariners. I mean, what an incredible feat of navigation to get a submarine all the way to Parkhead with not a drop of water around. Did they go through the sewers? And how could Aiden McGeady possibly be a ‘traitor’ when he’s ‘not of our own’? Fucking thick, inbred arseholes!

“Your name vill also go on Ze List!”

The media has been telling us what a card Auld Phil the Greek was and how he loved a joke. Anything to divert attention away from Paedo Andy, eh? They gave examples of his jokes, which nobody but the worst sycophant would find funny. Charlie phoned him to organise his 100th birthday party, to which Auld Phil replied, “I’ll need to be alive, won’t I?” Oh, ma fuckin’ sides! The truth is that they can’t repeat any of the old bigot’s real jokes.

“Hiv ye heard this wan? A darkie, a chinky, a kike an’ a bog-trotter go intae a bar…”

I think I’ve mentioned on here before how our da used to always believe anything some random ‘bloke’ in the bookies told him. Actually, it wasn’t a ‘bloke,’ it was a ‘block’. We were always on at him to take his dog to the vet to have its skin and fur looked at, but his reply was, “Block wiz tellin’ iz. They charge ye a fortune an’ gie ye the same dug shampoo they sell doon the shoaps.” If you argued further, he always said, with feeling, “The fuckin’ block sayed!” That was meant to end the conversation as, obviously, the block knew more than us and any number of vets. It didn’t matter what you were speaking about, or what experts you quoted, ‘the block’ always knew better. All those stupid anti-vaxxers remind me of my da. They’d rather believe some ‘block’ on YouTube than listen to what the experts say. Stupid cunts!

Bloody hell, hen. If you want anyone to give you a climax, they’d need that much alcohol that they wouldn’t be able to perform!

Nothing but a couple of pints of wood alcohol, though, could make this lot attractive!

I’m still getting riled by some of the stupid adverts that are on just now. Have you seen that one for McDonald’s with every cunt falling over laughing? What the fuck are they putting in their burgers? Cannabis? It’s the same with the Pringles adverts, where everybody has one Pringle each and then starts partying as if they’re drunk. And don’t get me started on the advert for Capri-Sun diluting juice. The wee cartoon character says, “Get ready for some super fun!” What the hell is fun about pouring some juice into a glass and then topping it up with water? I know most people think youngsters these days don’t know how to have fun, but that’s taking it too far!

“No added sugar! No preservatives! All natural ingredients, including the magic mushrooms!”

P.S. I see the 2-star rating of my book has disappeared.

“Awright, troops? Ah wiz oot oan Saturday, walkin’ behind wan-y the bands, proudly wearin’ ma Raynjurz toap. Wae walked past a chapel an’ thur wur cunts there haudin’ up banners callin’ us racists. Ah mean, it’s gettin’ thit a Proddissint isnae even safe tae walk the streets anymair. An’ they fuckin’ Feenyins ur plannin’ a march in October tae commemorarate Bobby Sands an’ aw they other terrorists thit starved thursel’s tae death. Thur’s awready plans fur decent Proddissints tae get the gither an’ stoap the cunts. Wae cannae allow that kinna bigotry oan wur streets, kin wae?”

All my books, in paperback and Kindle, are available here. (Except for Billy’s book, which is here.) If you’re skint for any reason, just drop me an e-mail and I’ll send you Kindle copies of any of my books (or all of them, if you want) for free.

27 thoughts on “WALKING BACK TO HAPPINESS

  1. I reckon it was Monti who sorted you that two star rating as he’s had to pay for a copy but bottled it when you mentioned it.

    I see those freaks have been marching about and a few comment on it, we never get anything like that down here thankfully, the weirdest thing you get is Morris Men, and I still find that bizarre, but its not comparable really they just dance and get pissed. If it were me I’d be slinging all sorts of stuff at those types if they were coming through my village or town, could get Pat’s missis to save up those dog shit bags and hurl them at them, why isnt there counter marches to get this shite stopped? If normal people did that, all of it would surely get stopped.

    Temperatures have dropped quite a bit in the evenings now you can really feel it, sat from the window with my lens last night faffing about, got some decent shots of the Moon, was hoping to see Elvis and Michael Jackson as they live up there now but to no avail, couldn’t zoom in far enough!

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  2. The dignified Orange dignitary to Dingbats right is Brian Gilligan ex member of the board.I don’t know who the bowling ball head with the Rangers club tie is behind him though

    I don’t know how to upload photos or videos but the ones involving the Ibrox Steward that likes to wear soccer boots and guard goalposts are belters

    Your books arrived yesterday Pat and I have started with the one dealing with the Scottish Independence campaign

    I have flicked through the other two though and the fact that fully half of all those seeking refuge in Scotland from An Gorta Mor were send back to Ireland should be more widely known

    Thousands were sent back from England,specifically Liverpool, but in nowhere near the same numbers

    Liked by 2 people

      1. Yeah,looks like he has further unevolved in the mean time too

        A few years back he kicked a hun out of Ibrox and lost it when he found out his photo was all over hun forums so he had a friend come online to let people know he was going to deal with whoever re-posted it

        He must be loving all this attention

        Liked by 1 person

  3. dont know about you Pat but a widd no only its a orange mardi-gras with a few wee blue pills i could end up at a shag fest ,just look at them Pat all gagging for it , and before you answer i no am needin treatment !!! .

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  4. Afternoon Bhoys, Ghirls and Pat Bhoy 👍🍀🍀.
    Another fine day in Gotham City! I think “Ra Peepul” read your blog Pat Bhoy, ok, get someone to read it tae them🙄.
    My predictions of mass raping and pillaging were grossly wide of the mark it seems, Bastards have done it deliberate to prove me wrong. “Best behaviour troops! Shut that fennyun cunt right up”
    Only 14 collars felt! Whit the fuck happened? Did “Ra big walk” get cancelled??

    Some fucking smashing photos aw the same Pat 🤣🤣. Junkie girl “The gender could be debatable” Club tie city at the front way fat Molly Dingwall. It looked a proper celebration of “Kultre”. Alec B and I were fearing the worst on our respective returns tae oor fair City, Eh. Having nae fucking City left!
    Livingston not one attempt at goal last night at the KKK Arena. Cunts!!

    I see fat Jonhson is in Yanksville talking shite, they cunts will hang on every word as there just as fucking daft as he is!! Mumbling stuttering, fat useless, Etonian, silver spooned wanker!! Fat firework heided cunt!
    Looking forward to the game the night. Sort this fucking away record oot and the rest will fall into place. Get Kennedy and laptop boy tae fuck!, That’s a priority!
    Stay safe troops, in Ange we trust Bhoys, Ghirls and Pat Bhoy 👍🍀🍀🍀

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      1. Was working in Cambridge yesterday, i didnt bother filling up at 6am thought na nobody will rush out and be that thick, how wrong could i be, see a woman yesterday side ways on in a petrol station filling up never seen that before, couldnt get the long reach hose to reach over so she did a 15 point turn to turn about, panic stations had set in for her, down to three quarters of a tank and she just needed to take her lard arse out and ruin my day, its a good job my windows were shut in the van there was some serious effing and jeffing going on.

        https://documentcloud.adobe.com/link/track?uri=urn:aaid:scds:US:c24d170b-cc49-4af9-b9e9-7f94f3cd282a

        Liked by 1 person

  5. I so wanted Pat tae be wrang aboot us no being allowed tae win the league.
    But efter the day! He’s 100% fucking right!!
    Dundee player, clean through, Hun goalie, last man, brings him doon, pen and red card aw day long. Nope! Pen and yellow tae the goalie. Brother Boaby! The keeper stays oan, saves the pen. Fuck this! What chance have ye got!?

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Have we sacked the manager yet. God listening to some on social media does my head in. We are a few months into trying to rebuild a playing squad that was totally messed up over a couple os seasons and it will not happen overnight. Give the guy a chance. Alex Ferguson did not get it right at MU straight off the bat and he did OK in the end. Ange may not be the answer but we have to give him a chance to put his stamp on the club and given he has been left to work with the existing coaching staff I feel sympathy for the guy.

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  7. If anyone looks at the bench, Hector, they will see we don’t have any depth in the squad. The team today was poor but should still have won, with a centre forward being able to put a ball in the net from 2 yards out, and a defence that can mark an opponent in their area at a cross ball.
    The biggest problem today was everything was so slow from back to front. Starfelt doesn’t know what to do other than go square to his mate who returns the favour.
    The midfield with Callum out injured has no possession or forward passing, other than playing square and back to Starfelt and his mate.
    Ajeti can’t hold up the ball, or hit the back of the net, Rogic won’t shoot for some strange reason at the moment.
    The game was shite, DU were pretty good but not world beaters.

    The worst aspects of the game was Clancy and his dodgy linesmen who allowed time wasting on an industrial scale, blatant offsides when the players were on, and not stoppoing play for our injuries but blowing all the time for theirs. Frankie’s right, the fix is in.

    Add all that to Soro being feckin useless and you can see why most supporters think we are in for a doin on Thursday.

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  8. Don’t worry about the Football, here’s a Purple Sandpiper, never cast eyes on one of these before, which to my surprise wasn’t purple, it was hunting for crayfish type things, should calm you down, nobody can get upset by a bird unless its a Seagull or a Pidgeon.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Wings over Scotland is no more as Stu Campbell wraps up his blog site. There was a poll a few days ago on what to do with the funds remaining in the fighting fund and the majority voted for it to be used to conduct polls until the funds are used up. A few people myself included had no problem if Stu wanted to keep the funds as a golden goodbye but he is being above board so polling it is. As a final two fingers to his many enemies he launched one of his crowdfunders to buy him a new warm jacket for his wildlife watching in Winter to raise £215 pounds. After two hours the fund was at over £2,500 and last time I looked was over £8000 in less than 24 hours. That should get JJ grinding his tooth in his bedsit behind the great paywall of Girvan. I take it donations to Phil are drying up if the amount of adverts on his site is anything to go bye. Pete Wishart will be able to sleep soundly in his ermine lined PJs now that Stu is no longer holding a mirror up to the fud.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I only recently noticed he was in Runrig, don’t get why you’d leave a band to go into politics, proper anorak stuff that, I mean it was a sad day when Donnie left the band, it sent shockwaves through the Scottish rock scene, but nobody gives a toss about the keyboard player, its like who? has he gone has he.

      Liked by 1 person

  10. We gave up trying to score after 70mins, may as well have blown for full time then. Ralston gets so much shit and is a limited player but gives his all, yet we have Turnbull who all the fuss was made of and he should have been left in Motherwell, he will never live up to what we thought he was going to be, slip aside he was rotten cant believe he wasnt subbed earlier, his free kick hit an ad board about 15 yards wide of the goal, i sat there going what the fuck happened there?! when has he ever performed?

    All this shite about transition being used as an excuse constantly, we used to laugh at Rangers needing 2/3 transfer windows to get sorted, commentators mentioned it about 30 times, its embarrassing, lets not play on that too much yeah! We gift teams so much its shocking at times how basic it is, the game i thought overall was even chances wise and we fluffed so much, I love how we go for teams from the off but we are huffing and puffing and then die and its happening every game, both halves tonight were the same. Knowing how shaky we are at the back we’ve got to bury them.

    I also cant remember a time in Europe where we haven’t cocked up at least once or twice a game, like proper howlers, Strachan’s time? Oneills?

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  11. Leverkusen are a cut above us, so result not unexpected. Their keeper looked good in warm up, and he showed he was a class act during the game. Kyogo was unlucky twice, and for a while it was 2 teams going for each other.
    But Turnbull’s mistake blew the doors off the bus, and they never recovered. Every time Leverkusen attacked it looked like they would score. Hart was good, Ralston tried hard, even Starfelt had his moments, but the big problem of misplaced passes, naieve passing to marked men, and a poor first touch, especially Rogic and Turnbull, killed them.
    Don’t understand the tossers in the support who feel they have to boo an ex player when he is on the ball. Short memories for those who previously cheered Frimpong during the 9. He deserved better and got it by 4 goals.

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  12. 4-0. Oh well. It points out glaringly our deficiencies. Didn’t a certain Brendan get horsed continually in Europe. How did he get on at home. When Ange can imprint himself on this team, it’s aw systems go. If the early chances go in, Ange is a genius. It’s a fine line. I’d rather watch that than tippy tappy shite of the last few years. Especially last season which was sore on the eyes.

    We’ve got tons of petrol oor here but then we didny walk away fae our largest trading partner. Am no gloating cos we’ve got a useless Tory prick anaw but a labour guy in charge ae the state so no aw bad. Still locked in oor here but nae covid but getting tae the point where somethings gonny change. 80% ah think is the magic figure but that still leaves 20% no jabbed. We’re no at the passport side of things yet so we watch with interest.

    Ah hate Etonians and self serving pricks who think they’re better than everybody else. I would gladly put them on a slow boat tae nowhere where they couldn’t dae any damage. Every time they get in tae government, they fuck it fur the poorer people and leave the place a mess. Then a Tony Blair/Keir Starmer tit gets in cos they’re just a wee bit no as far right. God give me strength. Whits up wae people. They tell ye they canny keep pumping money in tae the NHS but they can gie it tae the banks.

    Ah better no start. Ah was gieing ma gaffer Pelters yesterday. Think he was shitting himself in case ah knocked him oot. He’s Chinese so it’s fine😂😂 anyway Tata folks 👍🍀🇮🇪

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  13. I’m with you about Ange’s football, Corruptothecore, Europa is just a glamour game for Celtic, too many good champion’s league class teams in it now. The league is the thing, the Huns are shite and it’s there to be won.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Well the Huns are playing the race card again. Shock horror! I got called a racist bheast on twitter for saying I believe Kamara is a lying Bastard!! The Hun reply, various Hun replies, were “He’s black= liar. Racist fennyun Bastard!! No irony involved. Wankers! There fucking beyond idiotic.!!

    Still in Ange we trust! Big man needs time, as AlecB said and I’ve stayed myself. The Huns are fucking rotten!! I said to my brother on Thursday, if we go on a six game win streak, just six, we’ll pish the league….
    Fuel and food shortages. Fuck all tae dae way Brexit right enough. It always happens at this time of year🙄.
    The Huns are fucking shite! Pure shite! Win the morra and win well. The rest will take care of its self.
    In Ange we trust Bhoys, Ghirls and Pat Bhoy 🍀🍀💚💚💚

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Jings!!! I’m agreeing with KrisVoid. Hart should have been punching the ball, even if it put Montgomery into the middle of next week., at the Aberdeen goal. Would have meant no cross to Jota for 2nd , but not needed if they didn’t equalise.

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