DON’T YOU FORGET ABOUT ME

Last Sunday, as Clumps said, everybody woke up to find out they were blocked by a Twitter account they’d never heard of. The account in question was called Gers Family. Imagine my utter disgust when I tried to access the account and found that I could. I felt like the Little Boy that Santa Claus […]

DON’T YE WISH YER GIRLFRIEND WIZ…ETC.

Alex Rae dictated a ridiculous piece to somebody from the Daily Record the other day. It was all about ‘Dignity’, which Rae probably had to look up in his My First Picture Dictionary to find out what it meant. It wasn’t there, so he had to go with what he’d been told at Ibrox, even […]

THE PAPERS COME TO PARADISE

Like CJ in The Fall and Rise of Reginald Perrin, most rich people didn’t get where they are today by being altruistic. They hang onto every penny they can and to hell with everybody else. They’d sell their granny for a quick quid and burst into tears if they dropped a 5p coin and it […]

GOD SAVE VORACIOUS QUEEN

The Peeppul will be pleased to discover that their queen is just as big a tax-dodger as their old club. It’s only relatively recently that the old witch started to pay tax at all; or, at least say that she was paying taxes. It was in 1992, with criticisms of her lavish lifestyle in the […]

BEGGARS CAN BE LOSERS

“Aw, c’moan! Gonny? Please? Jist fur five ur ten minutes. Gonny, eh? Wull yez? Gonny?” That was the phone call that went through from Level 5 to Bayern Munich’s hotel on Tuesday night. It was an absolutely desperate and pathetic attempt to make Neo-Gers appear relevant. Of course, the press were there to capture the […]

LET BATTLE COMMENCE

I see JJ’s enviousness of Phil Mac Giolla Bhain continues as he accuses him of being ‘out of the loop’ and ‘hiding behind his NUJ membership’. Meanwhile, he repeats the stories about his and his family’s lives being in danger and adds how he defied the authorities to bring us court details. The guy’s a […]

THE EX FACTOR

It’s always sad when we lose a comedy genius. The word genius is bandied about too frequently but sometimes you just can’t use any other. The caravan has run out of desert and the dogs are all whining and pining like Greyfriars Bobby. Goodbye, Boxy – you’ll be sorely missed. Sincere, heartfelt thanks from all […]