HE’S AT THE MOANING AGAIN

Warbs is only back five minutes and he’s complaining already. After taking a long holiday that even a teacher would envy, he’s moaning that he, and his team, haven’t had much of a break. Well, it’s not so much the break he’s greeting about; it’s the fact that they’ve only had time to play one friendly before the League Cup is upon them. Whose fault’s that? He vanished off the face of the earth and then turned up at Charleston to join the rest of them playing on the shows and the like. Now he wants the rules changed so he can make as many substitutions as he likes. This continuity myth has really gone to their heads at Ibrox; they’re acting as if they’re Rangers!

Now, I wonder what would have happened if Neo-Gers had actually won the Scottish Cup final. Do you think Warbs would be complaining to UEFA about having to play qualifying matches and demanding the right to switch players as many times as he likes during a game?

And the aftermath of the game in Gibraltar goes on. Probably the most hypocritical voice I’ve heard (or, rather, read) has been Chris Sutton. He spent all of last season, and much of the season before, pouring scorn on Ronny Deila’s abilities. Now, however, it’s all the players’ fault. As Sutton says, Brendan Rodgers is a top manager, so we can’t possibly lay any blame at his door. Sutton’s certainly changed his tune; I don’t remember him criticising any players last year. Perhaps if he, and others, had done so, then Deila might still be at Celtic Park, probably doing a sterling job.

Another aftermath story; or, rather, a coda. The Herald decided to run with a story about Nacho Novo over in Belfast, ‘celebrating’ the Twelfth and attending ‘bonefires’. Surely Novo can’t be so thick that he doesn’t know what the ‘celebrations’ are about? Nobody could be that thick. It certainly shows him in a poor light as a disgusting little lickspittle, ready to betray his own country and culture just to sook in with The Peeppul. That’s not the way, though, that the Herald reported his sojourn.

The way the article is presented it makes it look as if Novo was attending an event akin to the Munich Oktoberfest. As somebody on Twitter pointed out, it’s doubtful whether they’d report Anthony Stokes attending a 1916 commemoration event in quite the same, light-hearted fashion.

Now, this might annoy some folk, but I can’t stand all the outpouring of sympathy and ‘solidarity’ over what happened in Nice. Don’t get me wrong; I’m not some heartless bastard that doesn’t care what happens to strangers. On the contrary, I feel shock and revulsion for all victims of such atrocities. France has already pledged to attack Syria and Iraq even more ferociously, putting innocent men, women and children at risk. We don’t hear much in our media, if at all, about innocent lives being lost to drone attacks or the almost daily killings of Palestinians or the attacks on Yemen by the British-armed Saudis. But, then, what are the lives of thousands of ‘darkies’ compared to the lives of white Europeans?

And what’s the ‘solidarity’ bit about? It just seems to me to be an excuse for another round of racism. Comments on newspaper stories today are all about how relieved we should be that Brexit is happening and how the UK is ‘taking back’ control of its borders. One moron in the Daily Record implied that Nicola Sturgeon was a friend to terrorists and suggested that we take a walk though Govanhill, in her constituency, to see what he meant. Even if you’re unfamiliar with this part of Glasgow I think you’ll be able to guess what he’s talking about.

I always like to end on a lighter note and today is no exception. I was on YouTube last night and, as you do, ended up on the bloody thing for hours watching episodes of the Herbs and other classics. It made me wonder what had happened to some of the heroes of my childhood, so I did some digging:

 

Captain Pugwash ended up destitute after investing his booty unwisely. Unfortunately, he had listened to investment advice from Cut-throat Jake aka David King.

Sooty’s star waned quickly after the expose in the News of the World telling of how he liked waving his wand about while having a man’s hand stuck up his arse.

Pinky’s fame nosedived after his sordid sex sessions with ex-prime minister, David Cameron, were uncovered. Perky tried for a solo career but struggled to find work without his partner.

Viewers were shocked when Basil Brush made his TV comeback and they saw what his years of drink and drug excess had done to him. He is currently in a rehabilitation unit.

Fenella, the witch from Chorlton and the Wheelies, left showbiz when the series ended in 1979. She went into politics and recently became leader of the Conservative Party and Prime Minister of the UK.

Things went badly for Bagpuss when one of the twenty-four bags of pure heroin he was carrying in his stomach burst. He was lucky to make it out alive but ended up a gibbering wreck, mumbling things about singing mice and talking woodpeckers.

When Bod grew up he left showbiz altogether, working on the London Stock Exchange. In a dramatic change of career he went into football management and currently works at Neo-Gers.

When Play School ended so did Humpty’s TV career. After picking up some work on a Kinder Egg advert, Humpty decided to go into PR. He now runs his own successful company in Glasgow, Level 5.

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