STATS STATUS

I was having a look about on this website and discovered a few things that I didn’t know existed. I can see how many views my blog has had and which countries they come from. Just like JJ, I’ve found a long list of countries, on every continent (well, apart from Antarctica), where people have viewed my blog. Unlike JJ, however, I am under no illusions about what this means. He goes on and on about his worldwide audience, as if he’s the modern-day equivalent of the BBC’s World Service. He honestly believes that he’s influencing opinion all over the Globe. Unfortunately, there’s another service provided by WordPress (where both he and I have our blogs), which puts a whole different slant on things.

As well as letting you see your site’s stats, WordPress also has a spam filter, which stops all those messages that nobody wants from reaching you. You can imagine the type of thing: begging letters, scams requiring you to hand over your bank details and offers of marriage from women living in dodgy locations. WordPress might stop all this shite from coming through but I’ve no doubt that it adds to your number of views. You’ll get folk, as well as robots, all over the world searching for blogs that they can send their money-making messages to. It doesn’t take a genius to realise that all those countries looking at your blog isn’t actually a testament to your readership but, rather, to the diligence and widespread nature of all these con artists. I find it hard to believe that folk in Qatar, Azerbaijan, Nigeria and Colombia etc. etc. are actually interested in what I have to say. If JJ was honest with himself, he’d feel exactly the same way.

Deluding himself about his huge audience obviously leads JJ to believe that he’s got a lot more influence than he really has. He now thinks that he was responsible for Stewart Regan’s resignation. I mean, get a grip, pal! Unfortunately for JJ’s increasingly inflated ego, his followers seem to be encouraging him in his delusion.

Speaking of Stewart Regan, I don’t understand why everyone’s got it in for him specifically. Was anything any different before he came along? And will anything be different now that he’s gone? The clique that exists at Hampden is the same, self-perpetuating clique that existed at Park Gardens; not a thing has ever changed. Like in practically every sector in society, you need to play the game properly to get ahead. It seems that at the SFA one needs either Masonic connections or to have a touch of the Orange brush. I’m afraid the revolution won’t be starting with the departure of Regan.

Meanwhile, Neo-Gers’ Chinese puzzle appears to be getting more and more complex. I mean, have you ever heard the likes of a club having to insist to the press that a reported offer was ‘authentic’? They’re talking now about offering Morelos an improved deal and ‘bracing themselves’ for more bids before the Chinese window closes. Oh, what a tangled web we weave…

And now Chris Sutton’s joined in, saying that he thinks Morelos is worth £10m. Where the hell does he get that from? The guy’s done absolutely nothing to merit anywhere near that figure. It looks as if Sutton’s just trying to suck up to the Huns. Maybe he’s angling for a job at the SFA. Don’t do it, son! Nobody emerges uncorrupted.

After Celtic’s dismal showing yesterday, The Peeppul were getting a bit overexcited, talking about closing gaps and ‘going for 55’ and the like. After being brought back down to earth with a bump, they soon made up their minds about what had gone wrong, as these two clowns from Rangers (sic) Media illustrate:

“Then we had that fucking ref. I can only say, corrupt to the core.”

“We were the better team. Officials fucked up this fixture again pure and simple.”

Apparently the man-of-the-moment, Morelos, had a goal disallowed. A fucking disgrace, eh?  No mention, though, of the goal that Hibs had disallowed. And then there was the penalty. They can argue all they want but that was as clear a penalty as you’ll ever see. The Hibs player was wrestled to the ground, for God’s sake, with the Neo-Gers player not even attempting to get the ball. Still, Willie Collum had better watch his step. Surely he knows that he shouldn’t be disallowing Neo-Gers goals! And giving a penalty against Neo-Gers at Ibrox is simply not the done thing. He’ll be following Stewart Regan out the door if he’s not careful.

Graeme Murty has had a go at his players for their performance against Hibs, saying that they need to stop “thinking we are the best team in the world”. But isn’t that what Boxy told them they were? It looks like Boxy’s going to be haunting Ibrox for a good while yet. Mind you, Murty should bear in mind that his team came third in the prestigious Florida Cup and that Chinese clubs are offering fortunes for his players. In fact, it’s a complete mystery why this team hasn’t got the league wrapped up already.

“Awright, troops? Aw Ah’m hearin’ the noo aff evrybdy is ‘Regan’ this an’ ‘Regan’ that. Um Ah in a fuckin’ time warp ur sumhin’? Ah thoat the president these days wiz Trump! Anywye, Ah goat a letter yistirday moarnin’ an’ ma Betty read it oot tae iz. Ah’ve tae go fur an interview oan Wednesday tae the SFA it Hampden. It seems thur lookin’ fur a new See-Ee-Oh; whatever the fuck that is. It sounds like sumhin’ tae dae wi’ Auld McDonald’s Farm. The letter says, though, thit Ah’ve goat aw the qualifications needed fur the post, so Ah might iz well hobble alang.”