JEW HINK YER TALKIN’ TAE?

Neo-Gers beat Marseille 4-0 in a friendly and suddenly they’re coming down that road again; you know, the road that’s been patiently waiting the patter of their size 10s for seven years now. The thing about friendlies is that they mean nothing. Most teams treat it like a kickabout down the park and couldn’t care less what the score is. In fact, it’s not a real game of football at all with substitutions going into double figures and players not wanting to go into hard tackles in case they get injured before the season’s even started. I would imagine the Marseille players would be doubly on their guard given Neo-Gers’ reputation and especially since the Phantom Ball Grabber, El Guffalo, was on the pitch. Obviously Marseille treated the game as a warm-up, while Gerrard’s team, desperate for some kind of bragging rights, played as if it were the Champions League final. It’s quite sad, really.

Maybe, though, the Marseille team couldn’t play for laughing at the pop-up shop. What a fucking brasser! Imagine inviting a top European team over to witness that. It’s like holding a party when your toilet’s broken and telling everybody to pish in a bucket in a tent in the back garden.

“Ah’ll hiv ten bob’s worth-a they Action Man’s Heids Ah’ve been hearin’ aboot, big man! Salt an’ vinegar oan thum, please.”

Everybody’s favourite cellar-dweller, PZJ, is back on Twitter in his umpteenth reincarnation. He’s sending Tweets to Celtic, asking about Co-Op loans. Is he ever going to give up with that pish? He’s also contacting Arsenal to tell them that Tierney won’t pass a medical, as if Celtic is trying to pull a ‘Turnbull’. His poor mother is distraught, wondering if he’s ever going to look at porn and have a ham-shank. I’ve heard she’s thinking of taking him to Ibrox so that El Guffalo can check if he’s got any baws.

PZJ, yesterday.

Here’s something to gladden the heart of Rangers Da. As Robert Fitzpatrick surmised, he’s the one that was accusing me of being ‘anti-Protestant’. How about me sticking up for a Protestant minister? The man in question, one Christopher Smith, was the subject of an article in the Daily Record. The headline said, “Leading churchman defends Barlinnie paedophile who claimed kids enjoyed sexual abuse.” That makes it seem as if the clergyman agreed with the paedophile’s claim. Actually, he did nothing of the sort and it’s just the DR stirring the shit as usual.

Christopher Smith said of the paedophile, who recently died, that, “The good he did in his time in Dundee massively outweighed any failings of his. I’m sad he has passed away.” Now, there’s a bit of a shocker; one that I’m certain that Rangers Da wouldn’t understand. Smith’s statement is a decidedly unProtestant way of looking at things. It makes it sound as if the dead man will make it into Heaven because his goodness outweighs his badness. Oh, dear! That’s Catholic doctrine! Protestant doctrine says that you can’t earn your way into Heaven; only God decides who gets in and His decision is purely arbitrary. Smith needn’t worry about being attacked by the Orange Order, though; none of them know what Protestant doctrine is either! All they believe is that they’re meant to hate Catholics.

Have you seen that stupid advert on the telly for Gillette razors? All that ‘Do your own thing’ shite. Is anybody convinced by this type of advert that tells you that you’re a rebel if you use a certain product? They must be, I suppose, or they wouldn’t make them. This particular ad shows a boss, with the voiceover saying, “Feel no pressure from him” and then a good-looking woman, with the voiceover saying, “Feel no pressure from her”. I don’t know who the advert is aimed at, but it seems to be some workshy loser that can’t get a shag. Christ, that PZJ is getting everywhere!

For some reason, I always think of Peezie and JJ as being cut from the same cloth. The Shitonfence speakeasier recently decided to have another go at Phil Mac Giolla Bhain. I don’t know why he’s so consumed with envy; it’s not like Celtic supporters slavishly believe every word Phil says. As usual, JJ’s as full of shite as PZJ, even falsely claiming that Phil attended Trinity College. As for the other stuff, I can find no trace of the guy JJ extensively quotes, except the self-same ‘article’ on various Hun websites. It makes you wonder who, exactly, is responsible for the guff.

And, though I stand to be corrected, I’ve never seen Phil bragging about important work for Sinn Fein or the like. I certainly haven’t encountered him claiming that Sinn Fein is run by British intelligence. (I think maybe JJ’s been reading my book Catalyst.) In true Hun fashion, it seems to be Phil’s Republican politics that upset JJ. Also in true Hun fashion, JJ excoriates Phil for supporting Scottish independence. Apparently, independence would be a disaster and Phil’s safely ensconced in Ireland, so it should be none of his business Er…I thought JJ was meant to be in hiding from Loyalist gunmen in some far-flung corner of the world. So Scottish independence should be none of his fucking business either!

Speaking of minding one’s own business, I recently had folk attacking me on Twitter over, of all things, the alleged anti-Semitism in the Labour Party. Somebody had asked the question which famous British Jew should be on a banknote. There were plenty of commenters, who practically had a fit when one person suggested Karl Marx. It wasn’t just his politics that was the problem; rather tellingly, they weren’t allowing an immigrant to be classed as British. Disraeli wasn’t allowed either, because he was brought up Church of England.

Instead of heeding my own counsel and minding my own business, I had to open my big, fucking trap. I commented that I couldn’t think of any famous Jews, simply because it doesn’t matter to me. Obviously, I said, it seemed to be a big deal to some. Straight away, I had folk attacking me; something that increased when I pointed out all the other comments about ‘Corbynistas’ and socialism being rife with anti-Semitism. I was ‘advised’ to do some research on the matter instead of accusing Jews of lying.

I had a look into it and I still can’t find any evidence of the Labour Party being riddled with anti-Semites. I did, however, find a rather interesting article in the Guardian in which it was ‘explained’ that certain words and phrases are ‘code’ for Jews. These include ‘The New World Order’, ‘Rothschild’ and, of course, ‘Israel’. ‘New World Order’ is a favourite expression of right-wing extremists in America and they are indeed referring to Jews, but some folk are determined to somehow place the blame for this onto the British Left.

Then there’s ‘Rothschild’. The problem there is that it’s the only international banking name that anybody knows, which has got nothing to do with the family being Jewish. The writer of the article, however, has got things covered in that respect, implying that even referring to international banking is code for ‘Jews’. So, really, any suggestion that the rich are pulling all the strings, or that there’s a global conspiracy involving the rich and powerful is to be construed as meaning ‘Jews’. We can all see the gross unfairness in the world, but if you comment on it, then you’re going to be accused of being anti-Semitic!

And then there’s Israel. It seems that any criticism levelled at this state is also going to be construed as being anti-Semitic. I asked one of the folk attacking me if I would be considered an Islamophobe if I criticised the vile state of Saudi Arabia. I received no answer. It’s not something these people want to discuss; indeed, I’ve read one or two individuals refer to charges of Islamophobia as being a smokescreen for anti-Semitism!

Whether Israel is involved in this business or not, it’s obviously a way of stifling criticism of what’s going on in the UK at present. While the rich get richer, the NHS is starved of funds, people are relying on foodbanks and immigrants are getting blamed for everything, anybody that criticises this state of affairs can now be branded anti-Semitic. It’s a huge, fucking con and all the prominent Jews going along with it are playing a dangerous game. While they complain about being branded with old-fashioned stereotypes, they’re siding with the very people that they moan about being stereotyped as. This means that they’re actually providing ammunition to the folk they’re complaining about! Meanwhile, buffoons like Gordon Brown are going along with it all.

“So, I said to her, I said, ‘You don’t get many of those to the pound!’ It’s the way I tell ’em.”

When I first started university in 1978, a girl in my Linguistics class wanted to start up a Jewish society. You needed twenty-five folk to sign up for the Students’ Union to affiliate an organisation and provide funding. The girl could hardly walk round, saying to folk, “You look Jewish, do you want to join a society?” Equally, putting up a poster saying that she was looking to round up all the Jews on campus might be misconstrued. She discovered that any old names would do to get her society started, then she could advertise it. So, she asked all the folk in her Linguistics class, including me. So, to all the folk that attacked me on Twitter, I don’t know if it’s still in existence, but I was a founder member of the Stirling University Jewish Society. So GIRFUY!

I’ve been a bit all over the place this week, which you might be able to tell from this blog. I started it on Tuesday and have come back to it periodically. Most of my time has been spent sleeping, which inspired Der Fuhrer to remark, “Thur’s somethin’ wrang wi’ you!” Christ, d’ye think? That’s why I’d applied for PIP and why I attended an appeal on Wednesday. Like many others a lot worse off than me, my appeal was knocked back. Bastards. The Welfare Rights woman representing me suggested I apply again. Too fucking right!

Still, at least I managed to put a smile on the Welfare Rights woman’s face. Before the tribunal started, she explained to me that she never built folk’s hopes up because, quite often, they got turned down, even though they had an excellent case. As she said, there’s nothing worse than thinking everything’s going to turn out fine, only to have your hopes dashed. “Like a ‘Raynjurz’ supporter every May,” I replied. Luckily, she’s not one of The Peeppul and found my comment hilarious.

I didn’t get to see the Sarajevo game, either by fair means or foul, because…you’ve guessed it…I was asleep. I’ve been disappointed by all the negative comments on Twitter about Celtic, though. Are our supporters ever happy? There’s nothing the Huns like better than it looking as if we’re worried about the season ahead. In among all their glee about this, they also took the time to make up another crazy story. Apparently, Celtic supporters were shouting negative chants about Kieran Tierney and…wait for it…burning pictures of him! They even went so far as to state that folk were being arrested for arson. Fucking lunatics.

Compare all the doom and gloom surrounding Celtic progressing to the next round to all the jubilation about Neo-Gers beating a team of part-time nobodies. The agnivores, of course, are going completely overboard, using words like ’emphatic’ and ‘clinical’, while talking about El Guffalo’s ‘goalscoring prowess’. You’d be excused for thinking they were playing against Barcelona. The DR says that it’s ‘imperative’ that Neo-Gers ‘hold on to’ Morelos. Just as well that no other cunt wants him, then, eh?

“Holy fuckio! Still no offers? So I’m stuck in this fucking casa de mierda?”

Here, Hector, I hope whoever died in the Kayaking incident doesn’t have any children. I always think that it’s one thing to be stupid enough to put your life at risk but quite another to deprive kids of their parent. When you have a family, it’s time to grow up and leave all the dangerous stuff to younger, and unattached, stupid cunts. Ah, well. Rant over. Back to the dream mines!

“Awright, troops? Ah’m back safe an’ sound. What a fuckin’ Twelfth celebration that wiz! Ah cannae remember a hing. Anywye, Ah’ve heard thit Raynjurz ur gonny bae playin’ Progres Needlecorn next. Revenge is gonny bae sweet. An’ kin sumdy tell mae what it is thon Labour Party huv goat against simmits? Ah always weer wan. Ma Betty says it makes mae look like Bruce Willis in Die Hard!”

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